My theme song for 2009!

Remember in High School when you and your significant other had a song? CJ and I had "Open Arms" by Journey. Even today, when I hear that song I am immediately 16 again with all the freedoms, feelings and fun that go along with that age.

Given the crappiness of the last year, I have decided that I should a love song to symbolize my new relationship with ME!

Several months ago, when my separation was fresh, my dear friend Cindy introduced me to a song by Jewel that really speaks to my situation. I'm not normally a big country music fan, but the lyrics in this song are perfect for my 2009 theme song!




"Stronger Woman" by Jewel

I guess you could say
I'm one of those girls
That's always been with one of those guys
You know the type
Like right now, he sleeps while I write

But it's better than crying
I'm worn out from trying
From loving a man who always makes it clear
I'm not welcome here
Just when he's hungry or frisky or needs something cleaned
And you know what I mean

But not tonight
'Cause come the morning light,
oh I'm gonna love myself more than anyone else
Believe in me, even if someone can't see
The stronger woman in me
I'm going to be my own best friend
Stick with me till the end
Won't lose myself again,
never, no,
'Cause there's a stronger woman,
A stronger woman in me

Light bulbs buzz,
I get up
And head to my drawer
I wish there was more I could say
Another fairytale fades to gray

I've lived on hope
Just like a child
Walking that mile
Faking that smile
All the while
Wishing my heart had wings
Well from now on
I'm going to be
The kind of woman I'd want my daughter to be,

oh I'm gonna love myself more than anyone else
Believe in me, even if someone can't see
A stronger woman in me
I'm gonna be my own best friend
Stick with me till the end
I won't lose myself again, never, no
'Cause there's a stronger woman,
A stronger woman

This is me, packing up my bags
And this is me, headed for the door
And this is me, the best you ever had

I'm going to love myself
More than anyone else
Believe in me even if someone cannot see
There's a stronger woman in me
I'm going to be my own best friend
Stay with me till the end
Won't lose myself again, never, no
'Cause there's a stronger woman
A stronger woman
There's a stronger woman,
A stronger woman in me,Yeah...

Another brilliant commercial (although I'm still debating if it's Extraordinary)!

I absolutely adore this new Arby's commercial for many reasons....

1. The little Arby's sign that springs to life over the dude's head when his wife walks out of the bathroom.

2. House of Jules and I have a special spot in our hearts for Arby's Beef & Cheddar sandwiches.

3. I laugh out loud each time I see it, and I'll take a laugh anywhere I can get it these days.



I haven't decided if this is an EXTRAORDINARY commercial yet, but it ranks up there fo' sho'!

For the Record....I thought it was great!

Britney's "For the Record" documentary just finished airing on MTV. I had mixed feelings about it from the moment I heard it was in the works. Would it be a laugh riot or a chance for her to really redeem herself? I can honestly say that she did a great job changing my mind about "Britney Spears" the woman .

Here are a few of my random thoughts on the documentary:

For just a brief moment, I felt sorry for her. People took advantage of her, she lost her focus, she got involved in the wrong crowd. She's no different from any of us. I've done all of those things, only it wasn't publicized. She's not tragic, just human and like the rest of us, doesn't have a little magic woman on her shoulder telling her how to handle a bad situation. Wouldn't it be great if we all had that, though?

She seems to have accepted that she must make amends for her past antics and while she misses her freedom, she knows that she is where she is in her life because of her own actions. That said, she doesn't seem thrilled by the idea of her "all work and no play" lifestyle. Her admission to being so lonely makes me think that her Dad being so involved in her life is still a good idea (in that it might keep her from going off the deep end again).

Her life is a circus (pardon the pun), but her talent created that. Her fans want more. She clearly loves her job and has accepted that her career dictates the craziness of the paparazzis that swarm her. She seems to understand that cyclical pattern.

The only thing I was really disappointed about was that she said "supermarket" instead of "groshery store."

I think she loves her Dad and has a normal relationship with him as a parent. Who wouldn't be annoyed if their parent was around all the time, but there seemed to be genuine love there from both of them.

I think she's lonely and hasn't realized that she doesn't need a man in her life to make her fulfilled. Hell she's not even 30 yet, and most of us don't realize that until we're closer to 40. I'm 36 and just now figuring that out. The sad truth is she'll never have a "normal" relationship, but she can, and I think will find love in her future when she is ready.

Her choreographer is amazing. Love his personality and he would make a beautiful drag queen (coming from me that's an enormous compliment).

My girl....

My kids know that I'm not down with store bought cards or useless birthday gifts. I prefer the homemade stuff that I can keep forever as a reminder of their sweet innocence (and refer back to them when their teenagers and hate me for no reason)!

For my birthday present this year my sweet daughter wrote me a letter. It brought tears to my eyes to watch my 10-year-old express her feelings as she recited the letter in front of my mom, my son and me.

I'm typing the letter here because I'm so proud of her (and because it's so cute to see all her mis-spellings....if you know my girl, you know spelling is NOT her strong suit)!

Dear Mom,

I love you sooo much. you are the Best Mom in the world. I know we get in fights But I love you no matter what.

When I am sic you are thare for me.

When I have any troubles like school you are still by my side incoruging me all the way to the top. even if i get an F :( you are still thare for me by my side. You will never giv up on me.

I have relized that when you punish me you are trying to teach me for the big world ahead of me. like when you cut my (cell) phone off you were trying to teach me responsability.

I am the luckies kid on the eirth. I have ben through some life lerning experenses with everything that has hapened this year.

Lastly I just want to say I LOVE YOU
YOU ROCH EGGS
LOVE,
(insert my kids name here)

Now THAT is the best present I could EVER receive! My cup runneth over.....

Friday Night and the feeling's right...

Friday was NOT a good day for me! I've been having a lot of those lately, and I can say with all honesty that if it weren't for my friends I don't know how I'd get through some of them! So, I called my LLP (someday I'll explain what that means, but it's similar to BFF) and told her to bring the usual provisions (beer and wine) and come over for an evening of venting. Well, she wasn't having any of that....she insisted that I get out of the house. When she arrived to pick me up she wouldn't even come in the house because she didn't want to give me any excuses to stay home. So, begrudgingly I pulled my boots on and met her in the driveway. I had no idea where we would go for a drink, but I assume it would be our local Mexican restaurant for a margarita. Boy, was I wrong!

My LLP has recently sprained her ankle and is wearing one of those really awkward black booties on her left foot. I knew our usual Friday night hang would be out because it's always super crowded and therefore not a good place for a girl in a black bootie. So, when I got in her car my first question was obvious:

me: "Where are we going?"

LLP: "Promise you won't think I'm crazy?"

me: "Well, I already know you're crazy and that's why I love ya. Seriously, where do you want to go? I need a cocktail ASAP!"

LLP: "Seriously, don't think I'm nuts when I tell you my idea."

me: "OK, OK....what is it?"

LLP: "What do you think of going to the local VFW? I already called and they said someone would sign us in since we're not Veterans."

me: "You already called the VFW to see if we can get in? Is this a joke?"

LLP: "No, really. It won't be crowded. It's close to home and it's something different. Let's give it a try and if it sucks, we'll leave and go to our usual Mexican restaurant."

me: "Well, you know me! I'm always up for something different. Let's do it!"

So, we drive to the local VFW. Believe me when I tell you that it is the least glamorous place in town. It's a small building that looks like an abandoned house. When we drove up and saw 5 cars in the parking lot, my first instinct was to say, "hell no! Let's get outta here pronto!" However, I was 5 paces from a cocktail and after the day I had my need for alcohol far out-weighed my need for a hip place to drink it! I did make her go in first though because I still have some standards!

My first impression? It was dark, small and reeked of smoke! Perfect atmosphere for some hard-core drinking, which is what was on my agenda! All 5 people at the bar immediately turned to see two gorgeous blonde's (me and LLP) walk into their little sanctuary. Within 30 seconds, 2 of the women were talking to us and making us feel right at home. The bartender had our drinks to us within a minute of sitting down at our bar stool and the guy across the bar from us was handing us $5 to play music on the jukebox. This place was getting better by the second!

LLP chose a spot at the bar for us next to this sign:

Our favorite part of the sign...? Peanuts for 50 cents and Lighters for a dollar! Hilarious!!

There was a guy from Manchester England sitting across the bar from us (he tried to convince us he was from Arkansas. An English dude can not pull of a southern accent). He was the one that gave us juke box money. He also bought us a bag of chips (which was perfect after a couple of cocktails) and a White Russian to cap off our evening! Perfection!!

Manchester guy on left with his buddy!

Good tunes, good drinks and some fun people were the perfect prescription after another bad day! Thanks, LLP for introducing me to the VFW! We'll definitely be back soon!

They melt in my mouth like buttah....

Every now and again I have little magical moments in my life that bring a truly happy peace to my soul. Today, I had one of those moments....

I was walking through Walgreen's picking up some miscellaneous items when I decided to wander down the Christmas aisle. Through the shelves of fake evergreens, dancing Santa's, cheap candles and piles and piles of tinsel, I saw it.....sitting oh-so-innocently on the bottom shelf, next to the cherry cordials (yuk). The beautiful blue box that house THE. BEST. ITALIAN. CHOCOLATES.

For a second, I could have sworn the box was encircled by a halo!

Baci's! I first discovered these decadent treats on my first trip to Epcot when I was 14. The family I babysat for wanted to go to Orlando and take the kid to Disney during the day and party at night, so they took me along to watch the kid. It was a sweet deal for me! Free trip to Disney AND they paid me $100!

If you know me at all, you know I was born with a fascination of all things Italian, so when we were wandering through Epcot's "Italy" I discovered these beautifully wrapped dark chocolate and hazelnut treats in a candy store! I bought 20 of them, and believe it or not I savored each and every one. Like Charlie Bucket in "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," I only ate a Baci when I absolutely HAD to (usually once a month)!! This was a huge deal for me because I have absolutely no willpower. Seriously....none!

Since then, I have made it a point to stop into various retail outlets to hunt down my favorite Italian treat! Let me tell you, they are NOT easy to find. When I was in Vegas two years ago, I stopped at the Bellagio just to visit their chocolate counter to buy some Baci's (although while I was there I gambled, had a drink or two and listened to a great local band in one of the many lounges). I still have one left from that box. Each time my supply dwindles, I get a little panicked that I may have to wait months and months until I find my sweet Baci's. They are so prized that my children know if they even think about getting into my Baci stash they will face a wrath like no other!

Then today, at Walgreen's.....WALGREEN'S of all places, I find my cherished Baci's. They were only $10 for a box of 12! What a deal! I've paid $2 for 1 Baci before, and it's usually in some fancy import store.

I snatched up 3 boxes, looking over my shoulder the entire time as if Walgreen's Management would realize what a deal I was getting and tell me that the Baci's were mis-priced or they were past their sell-by date (they weren't....I checked).

The problem with having so many delicious treats in front of you is that it is WAY more tempting to plow through them. I ate 4, the most I've ever eaten at one time, but I did eat them slowly....savoring each and every bite!

It was a great day!

It's Britney, Bitch!

I found myself singing Britney's latest song, "Womanizer" in the car the other day. I was mortified. When that song first hit the airwaves I seriously thought I would vomit, it was so annoying! Of course, when you live in a small town and aren't in the car long enough to bother plugging in the iPod or even playing CD's all you end up listening to is the radio. And the radio LOVES to play Britney songs. Over and over again, "womanizer, womanizer, you're a womanizer baby." Naturally, it's going to seep into the deep recesses of your brain and stick like scrambled eggs to the pan.


I found this little diddy today. We've all heard that Brit's been documenting her recovery and plans to air it on November 30th. She did an interview with People Magazine to promote her new movie. What struck me as hilarious was the reason WHY she invited a camera crew to follow her road to recovery.

“I wanted to make this film because I started to feel like I wasn’t being seen in the light that I wanted to be seen in,” People Magazine quote Spears as saying.

REALLY, BRITNEY? YA FREAKIN' THINK?

The brilliance that flows from this woman is....brilliant! How's that for a "Britney" quote?!

For Daneen...

My friend came over the other night and BLASTED me for not keeping up with my blog. I had 4,362 excuses as to why I didn't have time....Divorce, job search, kids, kids, kids, freakin' basketball, soccer, hip hop class, choir, girl scouts, no money, boy scouts, taking care of my uber-depressed mother.

But ya know what? She's right! I need to keep up with my blog. I need to vent. It makes me feel better. I don't even know if anyone is reading my rants, but just having a place to rant is a haven.

So hit me up....or don't! I don't care and that's what's great about a blog. It's my therapy and I need to be more involved!

Yum-O

Boy Scout Carmel Popcorn is the BEST....just thought you should know...

Check it out...

The embedded message has been disabled by the owner, but I highly encourage you to follow this link and see this funny video my daughter found on you tube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9WmKre5O2I

It's breakup week

It's been a busy few days in Hollywood. First I got the horrible news that my favorite four-some is splitting up. Hugh Hefner and Holly Madison (his #1 girl) have split!

Holly, Hef, Bridgett and Kendra (who is a P.I.M.P.)

From USWeekly:


Hugh Hefner is speaking out about his split from Girls Next Door star Holly Madison.



"I had planned to spend the rest of my life with Holly," Hefner exclusively told Usmagazine.com.



After the break-up, "I was road kill a couple of weeks ago," he said.



One persistent strain in the relationship was Holly's desire to have children.
"We tried to have a baby earlier this year and it didn't work out," he said. "She became very depressed."



Madison, 28, confirmed the break up from Hef, 82, Tuesday. "Hef and I aren't together," she told TMZ.com cameras.
But, she said she, Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt are "still filming stuff together. We're having fun."



Of their upcoming sixth season, she added, "It's going to be even better. We love season five, but I think every season gets better."





At least I know there will be a 6th season of Girls Next Door, one of my favorite mindless shows! Of course, Hef being Hef has rebounded nicely with twin 19 year old girlfriends. Pretty good for an 83 year old!
______________________________________________


After trying to digest all of this, I read in the newspaper today that MADONNA AND GUY RITCHIE are getting divorced. For reals this time. She's even hired a lawyer!














From a web source:
In news that is catching no one by surprise — except possibly the PR reps who issued countless denials of domestic trouble — Madonna and Guy Ritchie announced Wednesday they are divorcing after nearly eight years of marriage.

Whether or not this also means the truth will come out about Madonna's relationship with playoff-less Yankee Alex Rodriguez remains to be seen. Over the summer, Madonna was linked — unfairly, she said — to the breakup Rodriguez and his ex-wife Cynthia.

The couple issued a brief statement by their representatives Wednesday, asking for respect from the press for their family's sake.

A financial settlement has not been agreed on by the wealthy couple, who also must decide child custody issues.

Madonna and Ritchie married in December 2000. The couple have two children: Rocco, 8, and David Banda, 3, who was adopted from Malawi in 2006. Madonna also has a 12-year-old daughter, Lourdes, from her relationship with personal trainer Carlos Leon.

The couple are reportedly worth some $525 million, the bulk of that belonging to Madonna. Ritchie has an estimated $35 million fortune. They own homes in London, Los Angeles and New York, and the retreat in Wiltshire.

So, now that Madge has lost the British husband, I wonder if she'll lose the British accent, too!?!

NEVER FORGET!

In honor of all the men and women who lost their lives on September 11, 2001.....you are always in our hearts!

Listen to the "Sexpert"

A few months back I did a post about karma pulling me toward Judaism. This article that I found on Fox News solidified my reasons.....


Who's Having the Most Sex?
Is your sex life a bit busier than most? If you’re a “25-year-old, high school-educated, married, Catholic jazz fan who earns $10,000 a year and who smokes and drinks regularly,” than you are probably having more sex than a college-educated, non-smoking, non-drinking Protestant.
Studies have gotten that exact.

In trying to answer the ageless inquiry of “Who’s having the most sex?” research found that if you belong to any one of these groups, you are likelier to be having more sex than the rest of us.
Furthermore, research has found that certain personality traits and careers can make for a more sexually active person.

So, how does your profile fare? Who exactly should you want to seek out for a little bit -- or a lot -- of loving? Or, who should make you want to turn on a heel and run?

For years, investigators have been gathering information on people’s sex lives using the General Social Survey. This instrument, sponsored by the University of Chicago’s National Foundation, surveys about 3,000 people every other year on their sexual behaviors.

In conducting a large-scale statistical analysis of the survey’s data, John Robinson, of the University of Maryland, and Geoffrey Godbey, of Penn State University (and a former professor of mine!), revealed that 15 percent of adults are having half of all sexual liaisons. It further appears that 40 percent of them can claim 85 percent of all sexual encounters. So who are these lucky people?


Robinson and Godbey’s numbers show the following:

— Jazz fans are 30 percent more sexually active than others.

— People of the Jewish faith and agnostics are 20 percent more sexually active than Christians. On the average, Protestants are less sexually active than Catholics. Presbyterians and Lutherans report less sex than Baptists.

— Extreme liberals are having more sex than extreme conservatives, but both groups are being outdone by people who consider themselves political moderates. Moderates are also outdoing those who identify as mostly conservative or slightly conservative.

— Those making the least and most money have more sex than anyone in between.

— Those who participate in extracurricular activities (even watching TV counts) have more sex.

— Smokers report a 10 percent increase in sexual activity and drinkers report 20 percent more sex than average. Those who drink and smoke have twice as much sex as someone who does neither. **(I knew I was doing something right)**

If you’re not finding any of those traits too tantalizing, for yourself or a potential lover, consider the role of simply being very – that’s very -- nice. In looking more at the role of a person’s personality, researchers at Villanova University in Pennsylvania found those who have stronger personality types -- as in very “warm” or “cold” -- have the most sex.

These two groups, however, are seeking out sexual encounters for very different reasons. The friendly people long to spread the love. People who are less friendly fear rejection and intimacy. Hence, they seek to avoid monogamy by having lots of sex.

If you aren’t the monogamous sort, you may want to consider becoming -- or finding -- an artist or poet. Research from the United Kingdom found professional artists and poets have about twice as many sexual partners (meaning between four and 10) as those who aren’t so creatively inclined in their activities.

This wasn’t too surprising to investigators given that artists and poets were found to share certain traits with mentally ill patients -- traits that are linked with increased sexual activity. Therefore, the more creative the individual, the greater the number of sex partners.
Researchers suggested this could be because creative people are often attractive people, therefore they get more attention. They also tend to be charismatic, maybe since their talents grab others’ interest. Such a track record tends to be more accepted among creative people, given their enviable bohemian lifestyle.

While these research tidbits are interesting, I think that I am going to take them with a grain of salt. I don’t fit into any of these extreme categories -- for the most part -- and I don’t like the idea of a trait determining my sex-bunny status. Given what researchers have learned about my education level, I can’t let it. I’d never get any!

Robinson and Godbey found the more education people have, the fewer sexual episodes they have (I’m glad I didn’t know that when I was in graduate school studying this sex stuff!). It’s actually those with high school diplomas or a few years of college who see the most action. I have to wonder, though, if that discovery would change if they specifically looked at the sex lives of those who have majored in sex. Something tells me this group would be among the higher ranking sex rabbits ...


---Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."

This made me smile.....

http://omg.yahoo.com/blogs/goddess/matilda-ledgers-guardian-angels/85

Rain, rain go away! Part II

It's been raining ALL WEEK! As if I didn't have enough going on in my life to make me feel blah, now I'm sitting here looking out my window watching the rain fall AGAIN! I just need a day of sunshine to help me get my mojo back!

Waiting....

I'm waiting for my kids to get home. I'm so anxious......this is new territory for me! I miss them so much. Until this weekend I had no idea how much they've kept me sane over the last few years! OK, they drive me crazy, too.....but I love them so much!

They just pulled in the driveway! Now I can breathe!

Adjusting

I haven't written in some time. There's been a LOT going on in my life. My husband of 10 1/2 years and I are separated. He moved into a new apartment last weekend and this weekend he has the kids. I thought I'd enjoy it more....the kids being gone. I had these grand plans of spending time with myself. Thinking......taking a bubble bath......sleeping all day if I wanted.


Well, I did all those things. After a fun Friday night with the girls, I went to my daughters soccer game today at noon then came home and slept ALL DAY. I woke up at 7:30 pm and decided to putter around the house. I watched The Notebook (big mistake), cried then decided to go the bubble bath route. I'm not a bath person, so that didn't last long. I got too wrinkly too fast and the water was too hot.

Now I'm sitting here, smelling pretty, but sweaty from the water being too hot. My house is so quiet. No little girl sneaking downstairs 100 times asking for a snack. No little boy sleepwalking and ending up in my bed snuggling with me.

I'm not used to all this quiet, but I've promised myself that I'm not going to call my army of friends for support. I'm going to learn how to be with myself again. It's just harder than I thought.

I love my frirends and I know they're there for me whenever I need it, but I have to learn how to do this on my own. I have to learn to be by myself....to be quiet.....to be OK with just me again. It's been so long since I've done that.

You ain't nothing but a hound dog....

Elvis is alive (she says with a "Frankenstein"-esque accent)! Alive!

Don't believe me???

I have proof....well, sort of!

So, in the midst of the obscenely crazy month of June, Hubby came home and said we were invited to go see Elvis in concert.

On stage.....

My first response was obvious: "Uh, Elvis is dead."




Hubby: "No, no, no. Ron and his wife, Gina invited us to go see him at the Fort Worth Botanical Gardens Concert in the Gardens Series."




Me: "Uh, Elvis is dead."




Hubby: "Duh, it's an Impersonator!"




So, at this point, I'm thinking...."WHATEVER." I'm not going to some Las Vegas-Cheesy-Elvis -Impersonator-Crap-Show. But, because I'm a supportive wife and the folks who invited us are business clients, and the other couple attending are good friends, I put on my Elvis shades, packed a picnic dinner (with an extra bottle of wine in case it was lame) and pretended to be excited.




We arrived at the Fort Worth Botanical Gardens, found our table (which was very close to the stage), set up our picnics, popped the cork on some wine and hunkered down, waiting for the hunk-a-hunka-burning Impersonator.




Turns out he was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! Elvis died when I was 4, so I have no point of reference to the original, but my Mom was a fan and listened to his music a lot. This guy did a fantastic job. His voice, his moves and his costume were all spot on! I've been shaking my hips ever since the show!!

Elvis, Kim and David Starr (#11 Craftsman Truck Series Driver)

The Mr., me, Elvis, Kim, David and our hosts: Gina and Ron meeting The King after the show!

I'm still learning...

UPDATE: HOJ 'splained how to fix my problem.....Thanks, Jules!!!

OK, so if you know the answer to this question bloggers, please let me know asap! How do you change a date on your posts? I started my Elvis post a few days ago and didn't finish until today (see post below the Double Digits post) and because it was dated prior to the last post I did about my daughter, it placed itself before hers.

Scroll down to see Elvis post.....

Double Digits, baby!

Singing in the choir (and looking adorable)! Notice the Texas "tattoo" on her cheek!

I know I promised that my next post would be about my evening with The King, however I'm still working on that post and today is a very, very special day! I could not let it pass without paying tribute to one of the most amazing creatures on the planet......my daughter!

With her BFF (who's 10th birthday is tomorrow) in Atlanta this summer!

At 4:23 this afternoon, she turns 10! Double digits, baby! She's grown up so fast and is so full of personality (which, of course she gets from her mother)! I remember the first time I held her (after the nurses got all the goo off of her) and I just stared in amazement at this tiny little human being that I created. OK, yes I had a little help on the creation front, but to be fair...I had to carry her around for 9 months during the hottest summer on record in Atlanta, GA so I get a little more cred than the Mr.

Showing off her "new" braces!

She was beautiful then and still is today! I grew up wanting nothing more than to be a Mommy, so that first moment holding her was magical. I was speechless, which is a rare occurrence. Realizing a life-long dream is breathtaking. I helped God create a miracle and I still and will always feel she is a miracle. She was my first Dream Come True (the second followed 4 years later).

Dude, Santa brought her a scooter.....cool!

Today she is a little spit-fire with an advanced (read: sarcastic) sense of humor and more personality than she knows what to do with! I can only imagine what her future holds, but whatever life brings her way she will always be my little baby girl!

A self-portrait

Happy Birthday to my "dream come true, my one and only YOU!"

Summer time and the living's.....CRAZY!!

OMG! June was a very, very busy month. As most of you know I spent the first part of the month in Austin going through Nanny's house preparing it to be sold after her passing. I'm still a little freaked out that you can live 90 years and the majority of your memories end up in a black garbage bag or donated to charity!

While that was a very difficult experience, I also had some fun, fun, fun! While in Austin, I met an old friend for a night of a million laughs! We actually reconnected on Face Book. I was a little nervous meeting him because it's been almost 20 years. Would he still have his mullett? Would he recognize me without my over-teased, over-sprayed Bon Jovi hairdo? As soon as he walked through the door to the cafe's patio area I recognized him! Jeff B....with no mullett!

Me and Jeff

He looks exactly the same and hasn't lost any of his jovial, silly, fun personality! We had such a good time with his wife, my cousin, great food, lots of beers and too many old memories to count!

Jeff and his lovely wife, Brooke!

Thanks for a fantastic evening, Jeff and Brooke! I really needed it after all the trauma of Nanny's passing! You guys are a great couple and we definitely need to do it again.....this time you need to visit me in Ft. Worthiness!

So, for my next post....I'll tell you all about my night with ELVIS!

Meow!

I found this on Defamer....one of my favorite celebrity blog sites. If you were in Hollywood, would you make the list??

They'll stop at nothing

Men will do anything, as this article proves, to get out of doing housework! Unbelievable! And Italian men were always my favorite.....

It's 5:00 somewhere, says the little boy....

I think I'm becoming more cynical as I age. Of course, maybe I'm just PMS-ing and in a shitty mood. Yeah, that's probably it!

My kids got home today after being gone for a week with the in-laws. They had a great time playing on Galveston Beach, meeting new friends and living in an RV (which for my 6 year old son is about as cool as you can possibly get) but at dinner tonight my son looks at Hubby's drink and says, "Is that a beer?"

Hubby: (ever the honest one) "No, it's a Jack & Coke."

Son: "Oh, well 'cause Grandaddy said that at 5:00 it's beer time, so I figured since we were having dinner it was after 5 and you should be drinking a beer. What's Jack & Coke?"

Hubby: "Well, it's like a beer, but it's not."

WHAT????

First of all, my 6 year old thinks that 5:00pm is beer time (which is fine if you're my age, but at 6 it seems a little disturbing).

Secondly, why the hell does Hubby need to drink a Jack & Coke at dinner? He hasn't been around the kids in almost two weeks, as he was gone before they left for the beach and we have them back for a few hours and he's ordering hard liquor for dinner? They're not that bad....

Thirdly, my 6 year old knows the term, "Jack & Coke" now.

I wonder if his 529 College Savings Plan will work at The Betty Ford Center?

Oh yeah, Happy Father's Day......

Dad's Day

Unless you've been living under a rock, you know that Sunday is Father's Day. I guess we're supposed to honor the men (who's sperm got lucky enough to find it's way to the egg) who worked and sacrificed to raise us.

Blech!

Can you tell I'm not very close to my sperm donor? Asshole and I haven't spoken in a really, really long time. Not that I have any pent-up anger about it or anything.

One of the last phone conversations we had was when I called him to tell him my brother's wife was in labor and delivery and very close to having their first child. I was excited to be an Auntie, but especially excited because she went into labor on my birthday. My nephew and I were going to be birthday buds, but only if she hurried up and squeezed him out before midnight. So, I did what any girl who's been constantly ignored by her father, but found an excuse to call in hopes he'd have some kind of recollection of my wonderfulness does.....call Daddy.

STUPID.

I was telling him my theory on having a birthday bud and he says to me, "what are you talking about?"

Me: "Uh, Dad....today is my birthday, too."

Him: "Oh."

That's it....no Happy Birthday, dear, wonderful daughter 'o mine.

So, to honor the Asshole that is my father, I present his Dad's Day Card for the world to read:

Finally!

I'm going to keep my political opinions to myself, so as not to offend anyone who may be upset by this most recent development, but I will say....THANK GOD THE PRIMARIES ARE OVER!!! I never thought they were going to end!

What the...???

I've been in mourning and haven't felt too much like writing anything quippy lately.....until I found this little ditty on FoxNews.com. Now, I realize I'm lowering the bar considerably, but isn't that what's so fun about having a blog in the first place?

The story reminded me a lot of the woman who got stuck to the toilet story from a few months back. Remember her?

The article never went into detail about HOW this man got 16 washers stuck on his "nether region," but I sure would like to hear your ideas on how this idiot could have secured them to his "down there." I'm guessing this guy subscribes to the "size doesn't really matter" theory??

OK, friends.....let's hear your thoughts in the comment section!!!

Amazing....

The most amazing thing happened to me as I watched a wonderful woman die.....

OK, so who would volunteer to care for someone while they died? Right?

Yes, I'm one of the two that can take off whenever I want. Yes, I can be there in a heartbeat and be happy to do it. blah....blah....blah....

Let me inform you....I've had two children and I would have sworn that they were the most miraculous things that ever happened to me....Until I saw God take someone to heaven.

It was amazing. beautiful. peaceful.

All of us were surrounding her bed. Finally we had brought her home to die on her terms. She wouldn't have had it any other way.

Oh, Nanny.....GORGEOUS (that was my nic-name for her) watch over me, my husband and my children. Keep us safe, keep us remembering your spirit, keep us in God's light, help us remember that there is another world we can be a part of if we just believe.

And I believe.............

Calling all good vibes....

Nanny (my hubby's grandmother, and an amazing woman who I consider to be my grandmother) had a stroke. She's 90 and is struggling. When most people put out a good vibes request, it's usually the "get well" kind. This is a little different.



Nanny wants to pass on. We've had countless conversations about how she thinks God has forgotten her. She wants to be with her husband and daughter who died of cancer when she was 6. These conversations have always made me feel a little queasy, but now I understand.



Selfishly, of course I want her to be here forever. I know that's not possible. Death is a part of life. Now, she's in pain and is struggling, so I want her to be where she will be happy and peaceful. I want God to take her. I can not believe I just wrote that for everyone to see because it's so hard to admit, but it's true. The last thing I want is for her to lose her dignity or to suffer for even a moment, but that's what she's doing now and I hate it.



So, please my blogger friends.....pray/meditate or whatever you do that Nanny will be with her husband and daughter again soon, and that we, as her family, will be strong enough to let her go.

6 years goes by in the blink of an eye!

Gimme some love!

My boy turns 6 today! I just can't believe that the little baby I held in my arms not too long ago is 6 today! Time goes by waaaaay too fast!

He's an amazing boy! Smart, charming, athletic, adorable, full of love and charm (he gets all these traits from his mother)!! I am so blessed to have him as my son and am still amazed every day when I look at him and think to myself, "I made that." Children are a miracle!

Two of his favorite things: riding his "motorcycle" and playing soccer!







Camping this spring. Lovin' on his mama!

Happy Birthday, Buddy! I love you with all my heart......

Moms

Today is mother's day....my family always goes out of their way to make me feel special. My kids made me the cutest cards (my boy even cried as he was making it, overwhelmed by his emotions), served me chocolate covered strawberries, croissants, coffee and a mimosa in bed!

Then, we went out for an amazing brunch (more mimosas, of course) with my mom!

I love being a mom and watching my kids grow and flourish. They make my life so much more fulfilling and give every day a purpose. But there is one person who I owe so much thanks and gratitude to for teaching me what being a good mother is all about: MOM, I LOVE YOU!

Several years ago, I used to hear familiar words come out of my mouth and I would think to myself (eyes rolling), "God, I sound just like my mother." Now, I've learned to appreciate your wisdom and know that sounding like you isn't a bad thing, but a reflection of how your values are a part of me. I'm honored to pass those along to my children and know they will do the same when it's their turn to have a family.

Your influence is far reaching! We all love you, admire you and respect you more than you will ever realize. On Mothers Day, and every day....you are a blessing!

Ha! Ha! I love to giggle this early in the morning....

Can anybody guess who THIS is for???

Poor thing's just like her mama!

Here is a snippet of the after dinner conversation between me and my almost-10-year-old daughter while we were washing dishes and listening to some tunes....


Girl: "Mom, I love this song!" (Cry me a River by Justin Timberlake)

Me: "Do you know what it's about?"

Girl: "No"

Me: "It's about Britney Spears. She cheated on Justin and he wrote this song about how sad he was after she did that to him."

Girl: "Britney dated Justin Timberlake? No way!"

Me: "Yep. Not too long ago they were the hot couple everyone wanted to see on TV and in magazines."

Girl: "Mom, now I know that girl is crazy! Who breaks up with Justin Timberlake? He's so hot!"



God, help me.....I'm in so much trouble when this girl hits puberty!

Best news, ever!

We had a monumental day at our company today. I say "we" but really it's the Big Boss Man that put together an amazing deal that's going to keep our little company alive and kickin' for many, many years to come. And today it was approved!!!! You have no idea how much pressure this alleviates from my shoulders....from our shoulders!!

A lot of my dear friends read this blog, so I just wanted to give a big THANK YOU to everyone that has listened to me bitch and moan about the state of our company over the last few months. You guys give me sanity, love and support when I need it the most!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Would someone please explain to me why it's easier for some folks to take family members for granted than people we've known for a short time? Don't give me that, "they're your family and know you'll love them no matter what" crap, either! I don't buy that for a second.


Seriously......why is it easier to be an asshole to someone you "love" than someone you you barely know? Do we try to look better to new people because we've accepted that the family member knows our flaws?


And, really if we have flaws shouldn't we try to work on them instead of embracing them? Doesn't Oprah or Maya Angelou or some freakin' 21st century guru always say, "when you know better, you do better?" Yeah, I call bull shit on that statement!


I need to go out and buy a punching bag today!

Update: I realized while getting ready for a business dinner that I've managed to lose a clothing size, so a punching bag will no longer be necessary (for today, anyway)!

2nd Update: NEVER bring your kids to a business dinner, even if the dinner is with your ex-brother-in-law and he insists!!

It ain't easy being me

Well, you'll all be happy to know that I DID IT!! I said EXACTLY what I planned to say, which usually doesn't happen because I get intimidated by my "opponent." I had my notes with me so I wouldn't forget any of my important points and I was sure to look this person in the eye the entire time, all while keeping a professional, non-emotional (read: non-bitchy) tone. I didn't yell or get out of control. I didn't smack this person, which is what I really wanted to do.....Instead, I was an enormous tower of strength, honesty and professionalism.


What did it get me?


When your opponent is a trained, professional arguer (is that a word....'cause it is now) it can be rough to keep them on track. When this person tried to steer the topic into a different direction, I was quick on the draw to move back to my point. Alas, I still never got a clear answer to the questions I posed, nor did I get an admission of guilt. Just a bunch of excuses (which I completely expected) and blame on everyone else for processing the information incorrectly.


But this person now knows I know the truth. I have a great deal of influence over the other person in charge and now this person knows I am on the other side of the fence where they're concerned. That's all I can ask for right now.


Speaking of the "other person in charge," they totally threw me under the bus during all of this, but I still managed to hold my own. Even though I didn't get exactly what I want, I still feel pretty good about sticking to my guns, even in the face of adversity.

Go, me!

Monday, Monday....

Tomorrow is a really big day for me at work. I finally have the chance to confront someone who has completely betrayed my trust.....and I get to do it with all our employees present. In other words, this person can't wiggle out of the truth by telling different people different stories. I've been waiting for this moment all week!

I'm feeling like a Jedi.....ready for battle!!

I can not wait to find out how this person plans to win back the trust, respect and loyalty lost by their recent actions.

This is what has sucked me dry all last week and stolen my mojo. I hate it when my mojo is gone. I'm just not the same, but tomorrow is my chance to get it back.

Thank you, blogger friends for sending me some inspiration when I put the call out! I needed it! Hopefully tomorrow's meeting will help turn my attitude around. If not, and I end up in jail for assault....I'll be calling you, HOJ!

I'll keep you posted.

Thank you, HOJ!

Leave it to House of Jules to send me just the inspiration I was looking for.....




Hell yeah!! That's what I'm talkin' about.....welcome back Motley Crue. Where the hell have you been all my life? I felt like I was in middle school all over again when I saw this. All it lacks is Tommy Lee in some crazy harness drum thing twirling over the city of LA!

A call to Action!

It's been almost a week since my last post! Wow! I've been a busy girl. I got over strep by attending a Jimmy Buffet concert Saturday, and pics of that wonderfully fun experience are coming soon!

OK, now on to what's on my mind today.....and I warn you, it's nothing pop-culture-ish or funny. It's a call to ACTION!

I've been wondering for several days as I impatiently wait for my Jimmy Buffet pictures (you-know-who-you-are) what I could write about in lieu of a run down of last Saturday's concert. I kept coming up blank. Nothing. Nada! I had nothing interesting to say about anything.

I scoured different web sites, both funny and serious. Nothing! I even started two or three posts, but still.....couldn't begin to tie any of my thoughts together.

What the hell's going on here? I've only had this blog for 3 months. I can't be tapped out yet!

Then it hit me.....I've had someone very close to me completely betray my trust and make me feel so angry I could punch the wall and another friend that is so down in the dumps, it's making me wonder about his mental stability. In other words, I'm being sucked dry (and not in a good way)!

So, I'm putting the call out to all my blog friends: I NEED SOME POSITIVITY SENT MY WAY. I NEED TO BE INSPIRED. I NEED TO SUCK SOMEONE ELSE DRY (Hey Ohhhhh) FOR A CHANGE! ;)

SEND INSPIRATION ASAP!!!!!

Takin' a few days off!

Hey! My daughter and I both have strep throat, so I'm taking a few days off! Catch up with ya next week!

More before and after shots....Hollywood style!

Miley Cyrus, that gloriously annoying Disney starlet is putting together a deal to write her memoirs. SHE'S 15! Let me say that again.....15!! Who the hell writes a memoir at 15??? She doesn't know anything.....hasn't done anything.....or has she?

This seems eerily similar to what I'm sure was at the top of the New York Times best seller list in 2000....Britney and Lynne Spear's book Heart to Heart.

Miley should take a lesson from Brit-Brit. Writing a memoir at an obscenely young age can lead to bi-polar disorder, ADHD, not wearing panties (especially when you know you'll be getting out of a car in front of the paparazzi), shaving-of-the-head, thoughts of torn fish net stockings looking somehow classier when worn as a matching set with Paris Hilton, beating a car with a bat and of course, being committed to the motherf**g loony bin!!!!!

Let's take a look at some before and after photos, shall we? A little trip down memory lane, if you will of what happens after a starlet writes her memoirs about how much she loves, admires and cares for (read: pays for) her family.

Daddy's little girl.....

I'm sure Billy Ray is proud of this photo! If she's smart enough to write her memoirs, perhaps she could figure out that risque photos of a celebrity WILL BE SOLD TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER AND PUT ON THE INTERNET.

She seems to be following in the footsteps of my favorite HOT MESS, Ms. Britney Spears.

So sweet and innocent with such a bright future ahead of her! Cut to.......

A train wreck unleashed in what appears to be a grocery store ("I'm Mrs. most likely to get on the TV for slipping on the streets while getting the grosheries, now for real, are you kidding me?").

Take my advice Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana or whatever the hell your name is: back away from the memoir or you could end up superseding Brit as the worlds biggest head case!

Now what am I going to do on Sunday nights?

It's over.

I can't believe it!

But what an amazing ride it was leading up to the Rock of Love II finale! Last night was the completely over-the-top, chicks cat-fighting, Peyton singing, Bret crying reunion show. Check it:

video.vh1.com

I'm not one to condone violence (unless it's as HAWT as this), but the cat fight between Daisy and Heather was GLORIOUS! Read their post-show interviews here and here.

I love that Bret found his Rock of Love in Ambre, but it makes me so sad that there won't be a Rock of Love III. They looked genuinely lovey-dovey-cutsie last night and in my opinion, she was definitely the best choice (especially since the other candidates seemed so freakin' crazy and not in a good way). So, best of luck you crazy kids. I hope it works out for you and brings you so close together that you'll need to do a Rock of Love III to find your 3-some partner so I have something interesting to watch on Sunday nights (but I don't mean that in a selfish way, at all)!

Hey-OH!

BTW: VH1 replaced this show with some stupid Celebrity Magic show who's tag line is, "Now go Mag-ish." WTF is that, besides completely gay???

There's the pot calling the kettle black!

I had a very interesting discussion yesterday with my friend Cindy about my Girl Scout Troop volunteering at the Relay For Life last night.....and it goes a 'lil somethin' like this:



C: "Who all's going tonight?"





J: "There'll be 6 of us. A few girls aren't able to make it."





C: "Is M going to make it?"





J: "No, and between us I am very frustrated that her parents can't seem to keep up with our schedule. Why be in GS if you don't participate in any of our service projects? Plus, we're constantly having to call and remind them of meetings. It drives me crazy! I have a very low tolerance for adults who need to be babysat."





C: Silence





J: "Hello?"





C: "OK, and what I do for you at Willhoite's Every.Friday.Night wouldn't be considered babysitting in your book?"





J: ....."Touche, my darling....touche! For the record, I don't like to babysit, but I don't mind being babysat. There is a difference."



C: "Tell me about it!"

A trip down memory lane....

Yesterday I had the pleasure of seeing a regular commenter on this blog....she also happens to be someone I went to 8th and 9th grade with many, many, many (OK, I'm dating myself here) years ago. We met for lunch while she was on a lay-over at DFW airport on her way to Cabo (jealous) for a weekend.

After not seeing each other for 23 years, we had a lot to chat about....kids, careers, husbands, divorces, etc. We of course did this chatting over Bloody Mary's that we snuck into the restaurant. You can take the girl out of the high school, but you can't take the high school out of the girl!

Happy Birthday, Bud!

Remember Rudy Huxtable on the Cosby Show? One of my favorite lines of hers was when she said her friends name, "Buuuud." That's what runs through my head when I think of my friend Bud.

Last weekend we celebrated his 40th birthday at Bob's Steak & Chop House. I had never eaten there before, and let me just say, for the record, my steak was one of the best pieces of meat I've ever had in my mouth (ha! ha!)!!

Before dinner we enjoyed cocktails at the fireside bar on the uber-plush leather sofas. Here's Bud using a torch to light up the obligatory birthday cigar:

Ahhh, success! Notice Bud even wore his "grill" to dinner!

The 4 of us at cocktail hour!

Before sat down to eat our beautiful meal and were joined by some of Bud and Amy's neighbors Tony and Rosaria. Aren't we a gorgeous group??

About halfway through the meal, Amy noticed that Jason Garrett*, the Dallas Cowboy's Offensive Coordinator was sitting at the table right behind us. She is a huge fan, so Eric insisted on snapping this picture of them. Doesn't look like he minds a pretty fan interrupting his dinner one bit!

We had a great time celebrating your birthday, Bud! Thanks for including us in your special day and for being a great friend!

*And then there is Jason, who grew up to play for the Cowboys and returned this season as offensive coordinator. At 41, he's the red-headed, freckle-faced wunderkind whom network television cameras lovingly dote upon along the sideline. There is Jason mouthing plays into a headset, talking on the bench with Tony Romo or patting Terrell Owens on the shoulder after yet another touchdown.

Despite having coached only three years, Jason appears destined to be the first in the family to ascend to the pinnacle – head coach in the NFL.

Fox analyst Troy Aikman practically guaranteed Sunday to a national audience that it would happen before the start of next season. CBS analyst Phil Simms, who will work today's Cowboys-New York Jets game at Texas Stadium, was already filing away Jason Garrett stories last week. - source: Wikipedia

It wasn't like this in my day!

Not to sound like my mother, but times sure have changed. I found this on http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,351171,00.html and as a mother of a 10-year-old girl, was very disturbed by it!

I purchased my first cell phone when I was 23 and thought I was the shiz nay with that bad boy (which now looks like a dinosaur compared to the cell phones we have now). And I remember my Dad having the old bag phone that was strictly for the car, but never in my wildest dreams did I think that kids would be talking on cell phones. This whole trend is ridiculous. My daughter has been begging for one for two years. There's no way in hell I'm getting my sweet, little chatter box a phone.....and not just because I'd be scared to death to open the bill every month, but if the new trend is for girls to send naked pics to potential suitors my poor gorgeous beauty is never going to get a phone!


This is what life would be like if my little one had her own cell phone!

I know, I know some kids actually need their phones so Mom knows when to pick them up from sports/after school activities, and that's totally understandable, but when kids start sending naked photos of themselves as a way of "flirting" somethings wrong.

What happened to cruising the mall and sneaking cigarettes in the loading dock? Can you imagine what our high school experience would have been like if we could have instantly communicated with our friends? Let me know in the comment section what you think would have been different if we had cell phones back in the day.....

Happy Blog-iversary, House of Jules!

To the blog that inspired mine, I would like to give a "special shout out" to celebrate a milestone: House of Jules turns 1 today!

Read the blog-iversary post here.

House of Jules, we've been friends for 23+ years (and you still put up with me)! You're not only an amazing person with a steel-trap memory, humor to spare and a heart of gold, but you're also the classiest, sassiest broad I know! I cherish our friendship, our memories, our laughs, our dirty talk, our silliness, our no-holds-barred commentary, but most of all.....I cherish you!

Here's to many, many more years of good bloggin'....

Is it me, or does this remind you of a scene in Borat?

I was perusing my home page when I found a very strange article titled: "Sauna on a Roll..."

Naturally, my curiosity was piqued.

It seems Russian Men have a lot of extra time on their hands now that communism is bust. Ahh, the riches of capitalism!!

Worst wreck in Nascar history????

We were at the track Friday night for Sprint Cup Qualifying, drinking beer (because that's the only thing you're allowed to drink as an official NASCAR redneck) when one of the Thunder Roadster Drivers came running toward our toter-home hollerin' about a horrible wreck.

A photo of our toter! We call her Oprah....can you guess why?

Michael McDowell, the rookie 00 driver, hit the wall at turn one at approximately 185mph.

This post-wreck interview shows the accident at 1:17. You have to see it to believe it!

I can not believe this guy walked away. A true testament to the new Car of Tomorrow (Today). Folks complain that the action isn't as exciting with the new cars, but when you consider that Michael McDowell hit that wall as hard as he did, and flipped so many times....a little less action is a good thing.

We actually took our golf cart to the infield to check out the post-wreck action. It took officials 2 hours to patch the wall at turn one just to continue qualifying other drivers. They were up all night trying to repair it for the races the next day.

The crowd, although small because it was qualifying and not an actual race, was completely silent. It was eerie....and definitely the first time I've been to the infield at Texas Motor Speedway and heard nothing but silence. Being in the racing business, I was pretty quiet myself.

People in the racing business always joke, "if it can't kill ya, it ain't a sport," but seeing something like this wreck gave me a whole new respect for NASCAR's new safety rules and track regulations. I won't be complaining anymore!

I'll be gettin' my redneck on...

It's NASCAR weekend here in Texas and I'll be at Texas Motor Speedway all weekend, getting my redneck on! Look for lots of fun posts next week on my racing adventures!

More things that make you go bwhahahahaha

A friend sent me a link to a blog about one of our favorite shows: Rock of Love II. I started reading through the comments at the bottom of the page and this was one of the profile pictures! Brilliantly funny! My question is: how did they get the nose there...oh never mind. I don't want to know!

It happened sooner than expected????

Remember when I wrote this post about Britney's "comeback" on TV's "How I Met Your Mother?" I asked how long it would be before she was up to her old tricks.....well, I have my answer even sooner than I expected! See today's Defamer post here!



What kind of moron pees in the bushes when she knows there's a gaggle of paparazzi following her? Oh, I know...Britney Spears.

Please, someone....anyone.....I implore you.....lock this crazy bitch up once and for all!!!

Stuff like this makes me sick!

I stumbled across this photo of J. Lo today:

It was taken Saturday as she was leaving a hair salon in NYC (according to E! online).

She had twins on February 22nd. Now look at her! Gorgeous.....bitch!

Speaking of meshuga good......

You know what Friday night means for me.....Cindy and I are going to Willhoites! We always have a great time. Last night, a band we hadn't seen before, Railhead was playing. The name of the band caught my attention immediately because it's also the name of a very good Bar-B-Que restaurant here in DFW.

Once I got a gander at the lead singer, all thoughts of BBQ were out the window (although I could think of a few things to do with some sauce and the lead singer, but I digress).

I found some pics online and had to share with you because.... hubba, hubba!

There's just something about a guy in a cowboy hat!

Yummy!

Yes, they sounded good for a cover band, but I was all about the scenery. I'd like to hear some original music (if you know what I mean, and I think you do) though! I guess Cindy and I will just have to keep going to Willhoites and work our way up from table dancers to Railhead Groupie!

TGIF!!

Haven't had time to post anything all week (except for my awesome brisket recipe). Thankfully, it is finally the weekend and time to go blow off some steam. You know what that means....it's Girls Night Out!! Here's hoping I'll have lots of fun stories to post about tomorrow....Cheers!

Oy Vay, the brisket was meshuga good!

Since I'm relatively new to this blogging thing and you're still getting to know me, let me give you a little history on me....Jen! I grew up a good (cough) Lutheran girl. Traveling through life, I've had little things come up that keep trying to convince me that I should be Jewish (or perhaps was a Jew in a previous life).



Examples:



1. My first Jew, DR was a very serious boyfriend in high school who.....well, let's just say he was a piece of halvah! He was convinced I was a shiksa goddess (which, of course I am)!



2. My favorite way to have a bagel? Schmeared with red onion, a tomato slice, a few capers and of course....lox!



3. My oldest (in time I've known her, not her age) BFF: a Jew!



4. My new house has a mezuzza on both the front and side door.



5. Some of my favorite sayings: Oy, shmuck, shtik, shlep, chutzpah, klutz, kosher, putz! They just come out naturally. Plus I know a lot of other yiddish words (although I'm not so good at spelling them).



6. I love Challah (Holla!) bread and have a great recipe for creme brulee french toast that uses Challah (Holla!) .



So, if these tidbits aren't enough to convince you, this one will do it: I make a KILLER brisket. I made it tonight and it was so delicious, it was my motivation for this post!



In the spirit of giving, I've decided to share it with you because it's extremely easy, extremely good and if you don't try it Bist Tsedrayt.



Brisket Recipe:

1 (3 to 4 lb.) Brisket

1 (12 oz.) can of Coke (use only Coke, not Diet Coke, Coke Zero, Pepsi, etc). I tried to use something different once and it didn't taste anywhere near as good.

1 envelope of Lipton Onion Soup Mix

2 Tblsp. Hungarian Paprika



Put Brisket in a roasting pan and rub the soup mix and paprika into the Brisket. Pour Coke around brisket, cover with foil and cook in pre-heated oven for 3 hours at 350 degrees. Remove after 3 hours and let sit for 15 minutes. Cut across the grain into thin strips, place back into the pan juices, recover with foil and let cool. After a while, (this is the hard part) put it back in the fridge and reheat the next day for dinner as is, in the pan juices.

Yummy!

If I could take a moment to be serious...

I didn't start this blog to vent my political views or be overly serious (and if you've ready any of my posts, that is no surprise). I do, however think it's important to share the following article, written by JIM CASH, Brig. Gen., USAF, Ret.



Here is a little background on the author, as forwarded to me by a co-worker who sent me the article (in case you're wondering, there is no record of this as a scam on snopes).



"An assessment of where the US stands in relation to the Middle East problems, this one is from the guy who had his finger on the nuclear trigger for three years as head of our defense and response complex buried under Cheyenne Mountain at Colorado Springs. He was the only person who could initiate a nuclear attack after advising the sitting president of a missile launch by our enemies and our need to respond. No political or civilian type in the US had more knowledge about day to day military actions around the world. Everyone should find quiet time to read this. As far as I am concerned, it is exactly the direction we should go and the consequences of not doing so are well thought out."



Before I print the article, please know that I am not trying to offend anyone or make claims that one political philosophy is better than the other. I am a huge supporter of our armed forces overseas. That said, here is the article:

Middle East Imperative

BY: JIM CASH, Brig. Gen., USAF, Ret. (click to see military bio)

I wrote recently about the war in Iraq and the larger war against radical Islam, eliciting a number of responses. Let me try and put this conflict in proper perspective. Understand; the current battle we are engaged in is much bigger than just Iraq. What happens in the next year will affect this country and how our kids and grand-kids live throughout their lifetime, and beyond. Radical Islam has been attacking the West since the seventh century. They have been defeated in the past and decimated to the point of taking hundreds of years to recover. But they can never be totally defeated. Their birth rates are so far beyond civilized world rates, that in time they recover and attempt to dominate again.



There are eight terror-sponsoring countries that make up the grand threat to the West. Two, Saudi Arabia and Pakistan just need firm pressure from the West to make major reforms. They need to decide who they are really going to support and commit to that support. That answer is simple. They both will support who they think will hang in there until the end, and win. We are not sending very good signals in that direction right now, thanks to the Democrats.



The other six, Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Syria, North Korea and Libya will require regime change or a major policy shift. Now, let's look more closely. Afghanistan and Iraq have both had regime changes, but are being fueled by outsiders from Syria and Iran . We have scared Gaddafi's pants off, and he has given up his quest for nuclear weapons, so I don't think Libya is now a threat.



North Korea (the non-Islamic threat) can be handled diplomatically by buying them off. They are starving. That leaves Syria and Iran. Syria is like a frightened puppy. Without the support of Iran they will join the stronger side.



So where does that leave us? Sooner, or later, we are going to be forced to confront Iran, and it better be before they gain nuclear capability. In 1989 I served as a Command Director inside the Cheyenne Mountain complex located in Colorado Springs, Colorado for almost three years. My job there was to observe (through classified means) every missile shot anywhere in the world and assess if it was a threat to the US or Canada. If any shot was threatening to either nation I had only minutes to advise the President, as he had only minutes to respond.



I watched Iran and Iraq shoot missiles at each other every day, and all day long, for months. They killed hundreds of thousands of their people. Know why? They were fighting for control of the Middle East and that enormous oil supply. At that time, they were preoccupied with their internal problems and could care less about toppling the west. Oil prices were fairly stable and we could not see an immediate threat.



Well, the worst part of what we have done as a nation in Iraq is to do away with the military capability of one of those nations. Now, Iran has a clear field to dominate the Middle East, since Iraq is no longer a threat to them. They have turned their attention to the only other threat to their dominance, they are convinced they will win, because the US is so divided, and the Democrats (who now control Congress and may control the Presidencyin 2008) have openly said we are pulling out.



Do you have any idea what will happen if the entire Middle East turns their support to Iran, which they will obviously do if we pull out? It is not the price of oil we will have to worry about. Oil WILL NOT BE AVAILABLE to this country at any price. I personally would vote for any presidential candidate who did what JFK did with the space program---declare a goal to bring this country to total energy independence in a decade.



Yes, it is about oil. The economy in this country will totally die if that Middle East supply is cut off right now. It will not be a recession. It will be a depression that will make 1929 look like the "good-old-days".



The bottom line here is simple. If Iran is forced to fall in line, the fighting in Iraq will end over night, and the nightmare will be over. One way or another, Iran must be forced to join modern times and the global community. It may mean a real war---if so, now is the time, before we face a nuclear Iran with the capacity to destroy Israel and begin a new iceage. I urge you to read the book "END GAME" by two of our best Middle East experts, true American patriots and retired military generals, Paul Vallely and Tom McInerney . They are our finest, and totally honest in their assessment of why victory in the Middle East is so important, and how it can be won. Proceeds for the book go directly to memorial fund for our fallensoldiers who served the country during the war on terror. You can find thatbook by going to the Internet through Stand-up America at http://www.ospreyradio.us/, http://www.ospreyradio.us/ or http://www.rightalk.com/, http://www.rightalk.com/.



On the other hand, we have several very angry retired generals today, who evidently have not achieved their lofty goals, and insist on ranting and raving about the war. They are wrong, and doing the country great harm by giving a certain political party reason to use them as experts to back their anti-war claims. You may be one of those who believe nothing could ever be terrible enough to support our going to war. If that is the case I should stop here, as that level of thinking approaches mental disability in this day and age. It is right up there with alien abductions and high altitude seeding through government aircraft contrails. I helped produced those contrails for almost 30 years, and I can assure you we were not seeding the atmosphere.



The human race is a war-like population, and if a country is not willing to protect itself, it deserves the consequences.



'Enough - said!'



Now, my last comments will get to the nerve. They will be on politics. I am not a Republican. And, George Bush has made enough mistakes as President to insure my feelings about that for the rest of my life. However, the Democratic Party has moved so far left, they have made me support those farther to the right. I am a conservative who totally supports the Constitution of this country. The only difference between the United States and the South American, third world, dictator infested and ever-changing South American governments, is our US Constitution.



This Republic (note I did not say Democracy) is the longest standing the world has ever known, but it is vulnerable. It would take so little to change it through economic upheaval. There was a time when politicians could disagree, but still work together. We are past that time, and that is the initial step toward the downfall of our form of government. I think that many view Bush-hating as payback time. The Republicans hated the Clinton's and now the Democrats hate Bush. So, both parties are putting their hate toward willingness to do anything for political dominance to include lying and always taking the opposite stand just for the sake of being opposed. JUST HOW GOOD IS THAT FOROUR COUNTRY?



In my lifetime, after serving in uniform for President's Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan , and Bush I have a pretty good feel for which party supported our military, and what military life was like under each of their terms. And, let me assure you that times were best under the Republicans. Service under Jimmy Carter was devastating for all branches of the military. And, Ronald Regan was truly a salvation. You can choose to listen to enriched news casters, and foolish peoplelike John Murtha (he is no war hero), Nancy Pelosi, John Kerry, Michael Moore, Jane Fonda, Harry Reid, Russ Feingold, Hillary Clinton, Ted Kennedy,and on-and-on to include the true fools in Hollywood if you like. If you do, your conclusions will be totally wrong.



The reason that I write, appear on radio talk shows, and do everything I can to denounce those people is simple. THEY ARE PUTTING THEIR THIRST FOR POLITICAL POWER AND QUEST FOR VICTORY IN 2008 ABOVE WHAT IS BEST FOR THIS COUNTRY. I cannot abide that. Pelosi clearly defied the Logan Act by going to Syria , which should have lead to imprisonment of three years and a heavy fine. Jane Fonda did more to prolong the Vietnam War longer than any other human being (as acknowledged by Ho Chi Minh in his writing before he died). She truly should have been indicted for treason, along with her radical husband, Tom Hayden, and forced to pay the consequences.



This country has started to soften by not enforcing its laws, which is another indication of a Republic about to fall. All Democrats, along with the Hollywood elite, are sending us headlong into a total defeat in the Middle East, which will finally give Iran total dominance in the region. A lack of oil in the near future will be the final straw that dooms this Republic. However, if we refuse to let this happen and really get serious about an energy self-sufficiency program, this can be avoided. I am afraid, however, that we are going in the opposite direction. If we elect Hillary Clinton and a Democrat controlled congress, and they carry through with allowing Iran to take control of the Middle East, continue to refuse development of nuclear energy, refuse to allow drilling for new oil, and continue to do nothing but oppose everything Bush, it will be over in terms of what we view as the good life in the USA.



Now, do I think that all who do not support the war are un-American---of course not. They just do not understand the importance of total victory in that region. Another failure of George Bush is his inability to explain to the American people why we are there, and why we MUST win. By the way, it is not a war. The war was won four years ago. It is martial law that is under attack by Iranian and Syrian outside influences, and there is a difference.



So, what do I believe? What is the bottom line? I will simply say that the Democratic Party has fielded the foulest, power hungry, anti-country, self absorbed group of individuals that I have observed in my lifetime. Our educational system is partially to blame for allowing the mass of America to be taken in by this group. George Bush has done the best he can with the disabilities that he possesses. A President must communicate with the people. And, I would tell you that Desert Storm spoiled the people. Bush Senior's 100-hour war convinced the people that technology has progressed to the point that wars could be fought with no casualties and won in very short periods of time. I remember feeling at the time, that this was a tragedy for the US military. To win wars, you must put boots on the ground. When you put boots on the ground, soldiers are going to die.



A President must make the war decision wisely, and insure that the cause is right before using his last political option. HOWEVER, CONTROLLING IRAN AND DEMOCRATIZING THE MIDDLE EAST IS THE ONLY CHOICE IF WE ARE HELL-BENT ON DEPENDING ON THEM FOR OUR FUTURE ENERGY NEEDS.



Jimmy L. Cash, Brig. Gen., USAF, Ret. Lakeside, Montana 59922



"I'll tell you what war is all about; you've got to kill people, and when you've killed enough they stop fighting." Gen. Curtis LeMay