Adjusting

I haven't written in some time. There's been a LOT going on in my life. My husband of 10 1/2 years and I are separated. He moved into a new apartment last weekend and this weekend he has the kids. I thought I'd enjoy it more....the kids being gone. I had these grand plans of spending time with myself. Thinking......taking a bubble bath......sleeping all day if I wanted.


Well, I did all those things. After a fun Friday night with the girls, I went to my daughters soccer game today at noon then came home and slept ALL DAY. I woke up at 7:30 pm and decided to putter around the house. I watched The Notebook (big mistake), cried then decided to go the bubble bath route. I'm not a bath person, so that didn't last long. I got too wrinkly too fast and the water was too hot.

Now I'm sitting here, smelling pretty, but sweaty from the water being too hot. My house is so quiet. No little girl sneaking downstairs 100 times asking for a snack. No little boy sleepwalking and ending up in my bed snuggling with me.

I'm not used to all this quiet, but I've promised myself that I'm not going to call my army of friends for support. I'm going to learn how to be with myself again. It's just harder than I thought.

I love my frirends and I know they're there for me whenever I need it, but I have to learn how to do this on my own. I have to learn to be by myself....to be quiet.....to be OK with just me again. It's been so long since I've done that.