This explains so much about so many people I know....

A USA TODAY Study found that: Spanking May Lead to Sexual Problems Later in Life

Here's the article I saw on Fox News:

Children who are spanked or given some form of physicial punishment by their parents may be more likely to have sexual problems as adults, a new study finds.

An analysis of four studies by Murray Straus, co-director of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire-Durham, found that children who suffer physical punishment in the form of spanking, hitting or slapping are more likely to engage in risky sexual behavior as adults, it is reported by USA Today.

The study, presented Thursday to the American Psychological Association, suggests that spanked children also are more likely to be "physically or verbally coercing" to a sexual partner and engage in masochistic sex, including arousal by spanking, later in life.

Elizabeth Gershoff, an assistant professor of social work at the University of Michigan-Ann Arbor, who reviewed 80 years of spanking research in 2002 in the APA's Psychological Bulletin, said Straus' work appears to be the first to link spanking to sexual problems, USA Today reported.

Gershoff said that even though many children are spanked by their parents, future problems often depend on how the children process the experience and whether they ultimately equate love with physical pain.

So, here's my question....Were you spanked as a child and can you guess if I was? Leave your answer in the comments!

Side note: I asked if you were spanked as a CHILD, not if you enjoy it as an ADULT because don't we all?

Should I be embarassed?

I was listing (out loud in conversation) all of my favorite TV shows last night and I had a light bulb moment, as Oprah (the person, not my truck) would say.

For your reference my top 5 favorite shows are:

Rock of Love II

Scott Baio is 46...and Pregnant

Girls Next Door

Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew

My Fair Brady.....Maybe Baby?

Side note: I am in no way receiving any kind of compensation for listing every freaking show VH1 produces!

We've all heard for years that this is what's happened to American Television. Everything is "reality" based. I'm not embarrassed to admit I watch these shows, but when I compare them to what someone else watches I have to admit, I feel a little inferior. My husband, for example watches The History Channel, Discovery and Sci Fi religiously. In fact, I walked out to his "man room" the other night to see what he was up to and was discouraged to see he was watching a documentary on Steven Hawking because I wanted to see the Rock of Love II re-run because I had missed the newest episode on Sunday. What does that say about me?


When I think back to my childhood, my parents favorite shows were M*A*S*H, All in the Family, Hogans Hero's, Taxi, and The Rockford Files. Groundbreaking, society-changing television.


How the hell is Bret Michael's love life groundbreaking or Scott Baio's selfishness/ego-mania/narcissism society changing? Am I just so in need of an escape from MY reality that I rely on THEIR reality for entertainment?

That's when I had my "light bulb" moment: I have a sense of humor! I don't need to watch "pseudo-intellectual" programming to feel intelligent. I can feel that way all on my own! Yeah me! And yes, I do need an escape from work, kids, husband, life and there is nothing wrong with an escape. The 30 minutes (or hour, depending on the show) of smiles I get from these shows is so worth it!

So, THANK YOU VH1 and E! for producing mindless entertainment! I'll keep watching!

Challenge!

As usual, Jules and I were in a deep, cerebral discussion when she broke rank and asked me if I had visited Spammon's blog today, Pick Your Poison. Unfortunately, I hadn't had the pleasure. She was very quick to advise me that I should NOT look at the blog for if I did, I would never be the same. Never being one to follow directions, I immediately ran to my laptop to check it out. Boy, she wasn't kidding! GROSS! Click here to take a peek....

After we hung up the phone, I started tooling around You Tube (I was still logged on from posting my Jimmy Kimmell masterpiece from earlier), and I happened upon this little gem.....



I agree with Jules that the hairy tongue vs. cancerous tongue thing is disgusting, but this Chris Crocker video may possibly be the most disturbing clip I have ever seen in my life. This guy is W-A-C-K! So, Jules.....we have a challenge. Can you "one up" this, biotch?

Can't. Stop. Laughing!

It's like Summertime!

It was 80 degrees here today! The sun was shining and there wasn't a cloud in the sky.....glorious! Of course, it's going to be windy and cold (52) tomorrow, but after a day like today I can handle it. I am so anxious for summer now!

Sorry to all my Yankee friends who are buried in snow right now! You really should come for a visit!

It's Friday Night at Willhoite's and you know what that means......

Two weeks ago, my friend C. called to ask me if I wanted to go out for a Girls Night. No, I said...It had been a rough week and I was more down with a quiet dinner, maybe a little wine then home early to get to bed. Well, she was having none of that! While she did humor me with a very proper dinner at the country club, she made sure to plow me with a few extra glasses of Cabernet so it would be easier for me to fall under her spell. Before I knew it, we were at Willhoite's in Grapevine, and at the beginning of what will surely be our new Friday night tradition!

We had so much fun that it would have been a shame not to share it. Thus began another Friday night tradition: drunk dialing!

You remember this wonderful pass time from our high school days!?! Yes, I have discovered it's joys again, and apparently I'm so good at it that my good friend Jules had to get a special new telephone number just to upload my voice mails on to her blog. Really Jules, you should just stay home every Friday, pop some corn and wait 'cause you know the calls-a-comin'!

Then there's my very patient friend from weird-ville who, while simultaneously driving home at 2 a.m., smoking a cigarette and managing the cell phone will toss personal safety aside, and drop everything just to sing to me like a Lady (even though we both know I'm no where close, but bless his heart he tries so hard to convince me otherwise)! It just wouldn't be a Friday night without a serenade from my favorite singer!

You know, a woman of my age should be embarrassed to resort to such child-like antics. Now that I think about it, there's a lot of things I do that a woman my age should feel embarrassed about, but that's another story for another day! I spend hundreds of dollars every month on face creams, gym memberships and magic potions to keep me "younger," when all I really have to do is go to Willhoite's on a Friday night, drink too much, dance my ass off, then start drunk dialing! I may not feel young the next morning, but that night I'm a teenager all over again!

C "cheers" to another successful Friday night at Willhoite's!

***Special Thanks to my Nanny-extraordinaire for making these nights possible!***

Bullie is STILL delivering the laughs!

I was so excited when I checked my site meter this morning to see that someone in Japan (freakin' Japan) had looked at my blog. So far, the UK, Russia and Canada have all taken a peek and it's thrilling to know I can spread my thoughts (however dirrrrrrty) around the globe through this medium.




I scrolled down to see how they came to find me and could not contain my laughter when I noticed they had done a yahoo search for "fondling balls" and found my What Bull post. Holy crap, who does a search for fondling balls.....? Wait! Don't answer that!



I just can't say it enough: that was the BEST $29.95 I've ever spent!

U2 3D

My friend had a very blonde moment today that I had to share:

I asked her if she wanted to go see U2 3D with me this weekend and possibly enjoy some dinner and drinks afterwards. She kind of paused and said, "How much does it cost?" I replied, "I don't know. Whatever movies go for these days. $9.00?"

She started laughing....."I thought you meant they were in town and we'd go see them in concert." To which I promptly replied, "Ah, if Bono and the crew were in town for a show, I'd be waaaaaay more enthusiastic about it!"

Then, trying to quickly change the subject so I wouldn't focus in on her faux paux, she asked me, "Hey! You want to go see Chong (of Cheech and Chong) on March 7th?"

Maybe she's had too much Chong!!

Ewwwwww!

I was surfing around some very funny blogs and found this very disturbing picture on DListed:

There was something oddly familiar about these two! I couldn't quite place it. Were they movie stars? Pop stars? Celebutantes? I knew for sure that whoever they were they both had way too much plastic surgery!

I read on to solve the mystery of the overly sliced & diced duo....Apparently, STAR magazine put together a compilation of most requested celebrity body parts, according to two L.A. plastic surgeons.

The "Man" has: Daniel Craig's eyes, Leonardo DiCaprio's nose, Matt Damon's lips, Christian Bale's jaw and John Stamos' hair.

The "Woman" has: Katie Holmes' eyes, Katherine Heigl's nose, Keira Knightleys cheeks, Jessica Simpson's hair and Angelina Jolie's lips.

All I have to say is... GROSS! THAT'S THE PERFECT MAN OR WOMAN??? I shall never complain about my God-given features again!

BTW...doesn't the chick kinda look like Jessica Biel?

Again? You've got to be kidding me???

Here we go AGAIN...I am sick! I swear this has to be the WORST cold season on record. My chest hurts, my ear hurts and I keep coughing up gross stuff. Ahhhhhhhhhh!!

You know who you are......

I have to apologize to my special friends that received a drunk dialing call from me last night. C and I were having a little too much fun (and by "fun" I mean beer) in Grapevine listening to some great live music and making sure that the staff at two local watering holes closed down their bars properly. Someone has to do it.

To my out-of-state BFF: I promise to stop pimping you out to random men that are in TX on business, but live in your city! Please note, I didn't say I'd stop pimping you out....just to guys that are in TX on business! He did smell good, though!

Happy weekend!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Well, here it is again. That wonderful day of the year that gives us the opportunity to measure how much we are loved by the size gift we receive. In year's past, I really bought in to the whole Valentine's Day thing. I wanted the usual gifts.....flowers (but not red roses because they were too un-original), candy, a sexy lace nightie and a huge seduction scene where Sade is playing in the background and my partner and I are dancing around the candle-lit bedroom over a sea of rose petals before we fall into our luxurious bed and make mad, passionate love.
Isn't that what everyone does on Valentine's Day?

Fantasy almost never mirrors reality (unless we're really, really lucky). I've learned to accept that my seduction scene isn't going to happen (it only took me 12 years to catch on to that) and that I need to appreiate those red roses, no matter how un-original they are. I am loved and that is what we all really want to be on Valentine's Day!

For those of you who aren't in a relationship, take note: the grass may look greener on the other side, but it still has to be mowed, too!

To my friends.....
When I need a friend, you are here with me. When I need help, you are here with me. When I need someone who cares, You are here with me. When I need someone to love me for who I am, you also are here with me. That is true love!

And now for some of my favorite love quotes:

Where there is love, there is life.
-Mahatma Gandhi

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
-Jonathan Carroll

It's not the men in my life that count -- it's the life in my men.
-Mae West (1892-1980)

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.
-William Shakespeare, Mid-Summer Night's Dream, 1595

The course of true love never did run smooth.
-William Shakespeare

And THE BEST LOVE POEM EVER
i like my body when it is with your body by e e cummings

i like my body when it is with your
body.
It is so quite a new thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body. i like what it does,
i like its hows.
i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones, and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss,
i like kissing this and that of you,
i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz
of your electric fur,
and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh . . . .
And eyes big Love-crumbs,
and possibly i like the thrill
of under me you quite so new

Whew.....!! Now that's HOT!

YOU ARE LOVED! HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

UPDATE: The flowers I received did not contain one red rose! Yeah!!

Things that make you go hmmmmmmmm!

You know when you're having a down day and you get an unexpected phone call from someone you haven't talked to in a while, and didn't realize how much you wanted to talk to them until they called? It's a great high! Especially when that someone really brightens up your day with their kind disposition, positivity and encouraging words!


Ahhhhhhh.....much better now!

4 Firemen in my bedroom and there wasn't a camera anywhere

What a weekend! As I've mentioned in previous blogs, there's been a LOT of sickness floating around my house the last month or two. It all came to a head on Saturday with E. He had a bad interaction with some medications and it caused him to pass out/fall down on our marble floors. VERY LONG STORY short....I called 911 and Trophy Club's finest were at my door within minutes.

After we realized he was going to be OK, it hit me........I had 4 FIREMEN in my bedroom! This certainly was not the way I envisioned having so many FIREMEN in my room, but at least I can say they were there! I thought it would be a little tacky to ask them to pose for a provocative budoir photo, given the situation.

Gotta love those men in uniform!

Mom read my blog

Mom came over very late tonight just after the 4 firemen left my bedroom (I'll explain in another post once I'm over the shock) and read my blog for the first time. She read the Bullie post while I dangled the live version in front of her (then laughed as I tried to pull a hair off of it thinking it was mine then realizing it was Bullie's).

Next, she indulged and read the Gouche post. Her initial reaction? "I can't believe you girls still make fun of your Mom like this!" Then, after reading the UrbanDictionary.com definition of Gouche she looked at me square in the eye and said, "Oh my God....if I only knew then what I know now! I have such a dirty mouth and didn't even know it!"

I directed her to the comments section where my wonderful sister-in-law Leslie informed me that I forgot to mention one of Mom's most overused "fake" words: piddle (Mom's definition: to go potty, to pee). Leslie took it upon herself to look up piddle on UrbanDictionary.com and discovered it's meaning. When Mom found out that "piddle" meant fingering....well, you'll just have to click on it to read it for yourself....she said, "I am so dirty. Can you believe I used that word in public?"

After freaking out that her influence has reached such epic peaks, she walked away from the computer and said, "This is so gouche! I can't take it....I'm going piddle."

Rat on!

After a long afternoon of shuffling kids between Girl Scouts, soccer practice and basketball practice, I finally came home with my Taco Bueno and sat down to eat and read the paper. Instead of pouring over the headlines and editorials as I usually do (wink! wink!) I flipped straight to the Your Life section of the Fort Worth Star Telegram. On the cover was an article about the Chinese New Year. 2008 is the year of the rat. The rat is the first animal in the 12-year Chinese zodiac cycle.

What I learned is that I, too was born in the year of the rat (1972). According to Chinese lore this means I am "intelligent (check), outgoing (check), inquisitive (check), clever (check) and a good leader (check, although my mother always called it instigator, but I prefer leader)." That's the only time in my life that I agreed to being called a rat!

What was even more thrilling and exciting was that Olivia Newton-John (1948), Bono (1960), Antonio Banderas (also 1960, and can I just add a schwing!) and Ben Affleck (1972) were also born in rat years! These are some of my favorite people, as well as some of the people I fantasize about most (minus ONJ)!


Another coincidence: my first concert ever (without my parents) was Ratt! BTW...first concert with my parents when I was very young was Donny & Marie, but I digress!

Let me just go back to the Bono/Antonio Banderas connection for a moment.....I just knew, knew, knew we had a connection. I finally have my "in" when I meet those hot, sexy, talented, gorgeous men! Both are on my "pre-approved even though I'm married" list! Until then, I bask in our rat-tastic bond and hope that when I do get that opportunity to jump, I mean meet them that the "outgoing, inquisitive, clever" part of the Chinese lore is true!

What bull!

One evening, not too long ago, my dear, dear friend Jules and I were discussing quantum physics when she happened to stumble upon a funny little tchotchke at a scientific web site we were debating.....OK, OK, we were laughing at the idea of me screaming hysterically at the Rick Springfield concert, when at my encouragement, she went to check out the venue (Billy Bob's Texas) web site. On a whim, she decided to visit their gift shop and found the most amazing piece of art EVER:

What is this odd shaped, purse-like thing? It's a Saco de Toro ....English translation: "Sack of the Bull", you know....bull balls!

Being the bargain shopper I am, I immediately hopped on the Internet to find similar Saco de Toro's at a better price and purchased the above beauty! On Saturday morning it finally arrived. My very own bull ball sack. Of course, I immediately called Jules shreiking, "it's here! It's here!" She thought I was talking about the end of the world, but I cleared that up quickly and explained that it wouldn't be right if she wasn't on the phone when I opened the package. I opened the box, careful not to slice in to any of the precious cargo inside. Once I dusted off all the packaging peanuts, I set my eyes on real, live bull balls....my own Saco de Toro.



My first observation was that it was very hairy. My second was a question: is this one ball or two? If it was two per bull, it would look like this:

Whoa! That's a lotta ball!!

Thank goodness, my good friend A. cleared up my confusion. It is definitely one sack for two balls. She's from Mississippi, so she knows stuff like that.

My third observation was that my dog, Jax, really, really loved smelling my new Saco de Toro:

Finally, my fourth observation: you feel a very strong urge to wash your hands after fondling the Saco de Toro.....

Am I glad I made such a whimsical purchase? You better believe it! I now have the most original purse in all of Fort Worth, which is the only place in the world you could get away with carrying your lipstick and cell phone in a ball sack! I just need to remember to bring my antibacterial lotion, too!

Jessie's Girl.....done and done!

Ah...there we were. A gorgeous bunch of thirty (cough) somethings out on the town to see Rick Springfield live and in person! He was playing at Billy Bob's Texas, the world's largest honkey tonk! I'm assuming in the world of honkey tonk's that is pretty significant. We started off at my house for pre-concert cocktails and munchies. Then, in an act of pure suburban domesticity, we hopped into D's mini-van and headed to Fort Worth to see our 80's idol.

Once we arrived, all bets were off.....we headed inside, secured our spot in the viewing bar and waited, waited, waited for the show to begin. The downside to musicians being late for their show-times is it gives the audience too much time to drink!

If I recall correctly, my ass even hit the floor at one point, but my memory of the evening is slightly fuzzy. I do know I watched Rick on the big screen to get a better view and drank waaaaaaaay too many beers....and yes, I sang Jessie's Girl at the top of my lungs (much to the dismay of the neighboring table).

Once the show was over, the girls piled back into the mini-van and bee-lined it to What-a-Burger for post-show greasy grub (this bad habit is becoming quite a tradition after a rockin' Girls Night Out).

D....you ROCK for driving! Thank you so much! We all owe you one, girlfriend!!

All photo credits go to D.B.

Plumber butts!

FINALLY, the plumbers are here to replace my water heaters!!! It's been two days with no hot water.....! We had to run to Mom's last night to take showers. Hoping for hot water by tonight! Now, I just have to find time to paint my laundry room ceiling to cover up all the water damage.

Home ownership is such a joy!

Oh, and I'm getting sick....but I'm taking tons of airborne and zicam. I've got a date with Rick Springfield Saturday night and no amount of snot pouring out of my nose will keep me and my duct tape from seeing my 80's idol (OK, he was #2 after John Taylor, bass player for Duran Duran...and Simon LeBon....and George Michael...and Rob Lowe.....and C. Thomas Howell....and John Cusak...I was seriously boy-crazy)!

Update: I have hot water again!!! Yeah! I can shower again! I can wash dishes! Wait......