It's Friday Night at Willhoite's and you know what that means......

Two weeks ago, my friend C. called to ask me if I wanted to go out for a Girls Night. No, I said...It had been a rough week and I was more down with a quiet dinner, maybe a little wine then home early to get to bed. Well, she was having none of that! While she did humor me with a very proper dinner at the country club, she made sure to plow me with a few extra glasses of Cabernet so it would be easier for me to fall under her spell. Before I knew it, we were at Willhoite's in Grapevine, and at the beginning of what will surely be our new Friday night tradition!

We had so much fun that it would have been a shame not to share it. Thus began another Friday night tradition: drunk dialing!

You remember this wonderful pass time from our high school days!?! Yes, I have discovered it's joys again, and apparently I'm so good at it that my good friend Jules had to get a special new telephone number just to upload my voice mails on to her blog. Really Jules, you should just stay home every Friday, pop some corn and wait 'cause you know the calls-a-comin'!

Then there's my very patient friend from weird-ville who, while simultaneously driving home at 2 a.m., smoking a cigarette and managing the cell phone will toss personal safety aside, and drop everything just to sing to me like a Lady (even though we both know I'm no where close, but bless his heart he tries so hard to convince me otherwise)! It just wouldn't be a Friday night without a serenade from my favorite singer!

You know, a woman of my age should be embarrassed to resort to such child-like antics. Now that I think about it, there's a lot of things I do that a woman my age should feel embarrassed about, but that's another story for another day! I spend hundreds of dollars every month on face creams, gym memberships and magic potions to keep me "younger," when all I really have to do is go to Willhoite's on a Friday night, drink too much, dance my ass off, then start drunk dialing! I may not feel young the next morning, but that night I'm a teenager all over again!

C "cheers" to another successful Friday night at Willhoite's!

***Special Thanks to my Nanny-extraordinaire for making these nights possible!***

Bullie is STILL delivering the laughs!

I was so excited when I checked my site meter this morning to see that someone in Japan (freakin' Japan) had looked at my blog. So far, the UK, Russia and Canada have all taken a peek and it's thrilling to know I can spread my thoughts (however dirrrrrrty) around the globe through this medium.




I scrolled down to see how they came to find me and could not contain my laughter when I noticed they had done a yahoo search for "fondling balls" and found my What Bull post. Holy crap, who does a search for fondling balls.....? Wait! Don't answer that!



I just can't say it enough: that was the BEST $29.95 I've ever spent!

U2 3D

My friend had a very blonde moment today that I had to share:

I asked her if she wanted to go see U2 3D with me this weekend and possibly enjoy some dinner and drinks afterwards. She kind of paused and said, "How much does it cost?" I replied, "I don't know. Whatever movies go for these days. $9.00?"

She started laughing....."I thought you meant they were in town and we'd go see them in concert." To which I promptly replied, "Ah, if Bono and the crew were in town for a show, I'd be waaaaaay more enthusiastic about it!"

Then, trying to quickly change the subject so I wouldn't focus in on her faux paux, she asked me, "Hey! You want to go see Chong (of Cheech and Chong) on March 7th?"

Maybe she's had too much Chong!!

Ewwwwww!

I was surfing around some very funny blogs and found this very disturbing picture on DListed:

There was something oddly familiar about these two! I couldn't quite place it. Were they movie stars? Pop stars? Celebutantes? I knew for sure that whoever they were they both had way too much plastic surgery!

I read on to solve the mystery of the overly sliced & diced duo....Apparently, STAR magazine put together a compilation of most requested celebrity body parts, according to two L.A. plastic surgeons.

The "Man" has: Daniel Craig's eyes, Leonardo DiCaprio's nose, Matt Damon's lips, Christian Bale's jaw and John Stamos' hair.

The "Woman" has: Katie Holmes' eyes, Katherine Heigl's nose, Keira Knightleys cheeks, Jessica Simpson's hair and Angelina Jolie's lips.

All I have to say is... GROSS! THAT'S THE PERFECT MAN OR WOMAN??? I shall never complain about my God-given features again!

BTW...doesn't the chick kinda look like Jessica Biel?

Again? You've got to be kidding me???

Here we go AGAIN...I am sick! I swear this has to be the WORST cold season on record. My chest hurts, my ear hurts and I keep coughing up gross stuff. Ahhhhhhhhhh!!

You know who you are......

I have to apologize to my special friends that received a drunk dialing call from me last night. C and I were having a little too much fun (and by "fun" I mean beer) in Grapevine listening to some great live music and making sure that the staff at two local watering holes closed down their bars properly. Someone has to do it.

To my out-of-state BFF: I promise to stop pimping you out to random men that are in TX on business, but live in your city! Please note, I didn't say I'd stop pimping you out....just to guys that are in TX on business! He did smell good, though!

Happy weekend!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Well, here it is again. That wonderful day of the year that gives us the opportunity to measure how much we are loved by the size gift we receive. In year's past, I really bought in to the whole Valentine's Day thing. I wanted the usual gifts.....flowers (but not red roses because they were too un-original), candy, a sexy lace nightie and a huge seduction scene where Sade is playing in the background and my partner and I are dancing around the candle-lit bedroom over a sea of rose petals before we fall into our luxurious bed and make mad, passionate love.
Isn't that what everyone does on Valentine's Day?

Fantasy almost never mirrors reality (unless we're really, really lucky). I've learned to accept that my seduction scene isn't going to happen (it only took me 12 years to catch on to that) and that I need to appreiate those red roses, no matter how un-original they are. I am loved and that is what we all really want to be on Valentine's Day!

For those of you who aren't in a relationship, take note: the grass may look greener on the other side, but it still has to be mowed, too!

To my friends.....
When I need a friend, you are here with me. When I need help, you are here with me. When I need someone who cares, You are here with me. When I need someone to love me for who I am, you also are here with me. That is true love!

And now for some of my favorite love quotes:

Where there is love, there is life.
-Mahatma Gandhi

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
-Jonathan Carroll

It's not the men in my life that count -- it's the life in my men.
-Mae West (1892-1980)

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.
-William Shakespeare, Mid-Summer Night's Dream, 1595

The course of true love never did run smooth.
-William Shakespeare

And THE BEST LOVE POEM EVER
i like my body when it is with your body by e e cummings

i like my body when it is with your
body.
It is so quite a new thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body. i like what it does,
i like its hows.
i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones, and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss,
i like kissing this and that of you,
i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz
of your electric fur,
and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh . . . .
And eyes big Love-crumbs,
and possibly i like the thrill
of under me you quite so new

Whew.....!! Now that's HOT!

YOU ARE LOVED! HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

UPDATE: The flowers I received did not contain one red rose! Yeah!!