My first "real" post!

I just finished my introduction and now am posting my first real blog. I feel so high tech! Actually, aside from figuring out how to text a few months ago (my 9 year old had to show me), this is about the most high-tech thing I do! Call me Bill Gates!

What a scary proposition....putting your thoughts out in the world for anyone to see or comment on! I am looking forward to it being cathardic as I navigate through this crazy life I've built for myself. Two kids, one husband, two dogs (one is elderly one is a pup), a big house to take care of, a real estate development company (my husband mostly runs) and a race car academy (http://www.trophyracing.com/) which I am involved with.....not to mention Girl Scouts, my position as official chauffeur to all basketball & soccer practices and games and my mom who lives a few minutes from us. Whew! I'm tired just typing all this.

Speaking of Mom....it amazes me that at some point a daughter goes from being "the daughter" to "the parent." I can't even recall when it happened, but we are definitely at that stage in the mother-daughter relationship. Sometimes I just want to scream, "Hey! When do I get to cry on your shoulders? When do I get to vent? When do you step in and comfort me?" I wish I had appreciated it more when I was younger. I recall so sweetly Mom trying her hardest to get me, as a stubborn teenager, to open up and talk to her. Of course, I didn't need her because I already had all the answers (I wish)! She used to be interested in my day, who my friends were, where I was going on the weekends...and when I say "interested" I mean she would hound me until I gave her any little bit of information as to what was going on in my all-too-complicated teenage life. As a ridiculously rebellious and headstrong teen, I turned her away (all the while rolling my eyes).

I miss that inquisitive mom. The mom who wasn't afraid to stand up to me and put me in my place because sometimes I still need that. I always saw her as someone who could stand up to anyone or anything. She was never afraid, never worried. It was always "just fine." As an adult, I see how childlike it is to feel that way. At some point, we realize our parents are human beings and putting on as big a show for us as we put on for our kids. What a crazy cycle. It doesn't even make sense to change it because what gets me through the rough times are recalling my idyllic, stress-free childhood memories. At least we have that!

I know my mom is dependent on me now for her emotionall well-being, and it can be a difficult pill to swallow, but I fondly recall that strong-willed woman who, with her apron tied tightly around her waist and a fire burning brightly in her eyes, threatened me within an inch of my life if I didn't do what she told me.....because she said so!