Looking up....just not at my laundry room ceiling!

After writing off yesterday with a good bottle of red, I realized I hadn't paid homage on my blog to one of my all-time-favorite "this day sucked-ass" remedies. I can not believe I've had a blog for over two weeks and haven't given out a big shout-out to TWO BUCK CHUCK!! It's only the. best. wine. ever!!! There is one minor problem: Two Buck Chuck (actual name: Charles Shaw) is only sold at Trader Joe's Market and there is no Trader Joe's in Texas!

Now, unfortunately I am down to (gulp) my last bottle! That's her picture above. Doesn't she look lonely? I even dressed her up a little because I was hoping that her finery would keep me from tearing into her when I have my next sucky day:

Doesn't she look gorgeous?!?! I'm not sure if the froo- froo will keep me away, but I'm hoping it works. It's going to be a while before I visit a town with a Trader Joe's to stock up, so I've got to keep her around for a really, really, really sucky day (and keep stock in other red's so I'm not tempted if I run out of everything else)!

Two Buck Chuck may be a "value" wine, but in my book her healing powers are invaluable! That's why I implore you to contact Trader Joe's and plead, cry, whine, make an obnoxious ass of yourself and generally beg for them to open up a store in the Dallas Fort Worth area! Click here to make your request! Do it for me....a lush who enjoys good, cheap wine!

Sick of Being Sick!

For the last three weeks one of my two kids has been sick. So far we've missed a total of 7 days of school between the two of them! Holy crap....it's like when they're home for summer vacation, but it's too cold to play outside and no one is agreeable.

Then on top of all that loveliness, my hot water heater burst today and leaked 50 gallons of water downstairs into my laundry room. What brainiac ever conceived putting a hot water tank upstairs and then only putting a pan that holds about 2 gallons underneath it? Not sure if we'll have to replace the ceiling in the laundry room, but we definitely need a new hot water heater.

I am so annoyed!

Imagine what she's seen!!

The prettiest lady I know!

I spent the weekend with my entire in-law clan in Austin, TX to celebrate the 90th birthday of my kid's great-grandmother! 90!! It was amazing to see all her friends and family turn out to wish her well. There had to have been 100 people at her party!

I made a point of taking my 9-year-old daugher aside and discussing all the major things her Nanny has seen in her life. Two World Wars, the Depression, Kennedy, first trip to the moon, Vietnam, the evolution of the automobile, computers....the list goes on and on. I wanted my baby girl to know that people shouln't be dismissed because they are elderly. We should celebrate their wisdom, seek their guidance and appreciate the advice they offer. I love talking to the "old folks" about their memories and life experiences. One of my fondest memories is listening to my Grandma's (who is now deceased) stories about what she was doing when she heard that Pearl Harbor had been bombed by the Japanese. For the record, she was a newlywed, standing on a ladder, painting her new kitchen yellow.

Personally, I am proud to call Nanny my friend. She is an amazing lady....funny, strong, wise, and the only Grandma I have left. I would consider myself lucky to make it as far in life as she has. While she is suffering from dimentia and the pains that come with age, she is still a wonderfully viable woman. To see so many people turn out for her party was a testament to the life she's lead. I am privledged to be a part of her life!

Now, on the completely selfish side......my sista's-in-law decided to make a night of it in Austin after Nanny's party and head out to 6th Street for a serious Girls Night Out! Man, did we have a good time! We hit Maggie Mae's, listened to some great music, hung out with the band, and woke up with a huge hangover (but that's to be expected when the 3 of us are together)!! By the way, thanks Lynn for babysitting!

My sista's-in-law!

This pretty much sums up our night! The obligatory self-portrait gone awry!

Is it with an "O" or an "A"???

When I was a child, my mother would had her own "alternate" language. Little words she used, sometimes in leiu of cursing, to describe some everyday things.

Some examples:

Schmotz: nothing.
Example: I can't see schmotz!

Doo-pa: ass, butt.
Example: He's got such a cute doo-pa!

Gauche: tacky.
Example: That outfit is so gauche!

Because we've known each other entirely too long to discuss the mundane, Julz and I were talking about my mother's use of the word GAUCHE last night and she rocked my world by informing me that it is spelled with an A and not an O (gouche). I had always spelled it with an O (notice my label from yesterday's "gayelle" post). I have to admit, I felt a little silly not knowing how to spell one of Mom's most over-used words (if you know me at all, you know spelling is one of my things).

Julz decided to look the word GOUCHE (with an "O") up on UrbanDictionary.com (because I was still convinced I had been spelling it correctly all these years). Once she got to the site, all I heard was intense laughter. I could barely make out what she was reading to me once she found the definition of gOuche:

1. gouche: the area between the genitalia and the anus.
Example: I punched him hard in the gouche

2. Gouche: The Part Thats Between A Guys Balls And His Ass *Very Sensative*
Example: Ha Ha They Electrocuted His Gouche

3. gouche: the small area between a males ball sack and his anus
There was no example here, but do we really need one at this point?

I'm still laughing this morning about this "new" word I learned! The examples urbandictionary.com gives are priceless!

Mom would be so proud.......how gauche!

Not That There's Anything Wrong With That!

I received this text message this afternoon and found it rather disturbing.....

thought of u this a.m. when i heard lezbians want 2 b called "GAYELLE"s now. How gay is that!?!

Now, please keep in mind that I did not think it was disturbing that my friend sent me the text or that she thought of me when she heard this news. What's causing my discomfort is the term GAYELLE (if they're Southern do you call them GAY-BELLES?)!

Who the hell thought of that? I'm offended as a Hetero that a Lesbo would want to be called something so completely stupid and overly feminine. Not that I'm boxing them in the "butch" catergory, but the word conjurs up images of a gazelle bouncing around Africa. I get no lesbian images in my head when I hear the word GAYELLE. The poor animals must be mortified by this new terminology.


Now, when I Googled GAYELLE I got a huge, huge laugh at the irony of the Urban Dictionary's definition(s) of GAYELLE!

1. gayelle (this is the not-so-funny definition)

A community television channel in Trinidad & Tobago.A television station in Trinidad & Tobago - UHF Channel 23.
example: Did you watch the news on Gayelle Tonight?

2. gayelle (now this is hilarious)!

An arena used for the sport of cock-fighting in the Caribbean. Persons would congregate in the gayelle and gamble by placing bets on one of the two roosters engaged in the cock-fight. the winning animal is the one left alive at the end of the duel.
example: Are you guys going down to the gayelle tonight?


Do you think the ladies wanting to call themselves GAYELLE's checked in to this before "coining" the new term? I'm quite certain if they knew the word referenced COCK fighting, they might reconsider!


Can't we just stick with the original? Yes, Lesbian can be an offensive sounding word (kind of like vagina), but at least it doesn't sound so.....so......so.....gay!!

Goodbye, Ennis!

It's horrible to think that Heath Ledger is gone and like everyone else, I am waiting to hear the official autopsy results behind his untimely death. I found this interview from WJW in Cleveland (my old stomping grounds) that was eerie: http://www.brightcove.tv/title.jsp?title=1387524799&channel=18906245.

Goodbye, Ennis Del Mar! You may not be here, but we won't quit you!

You've got to be kidding me!?!?

Somehow, Paris Hilton's opinions on parenting are news:

Paris Hilton is rooting for Britney Spears. "I wish the best for her and I just wish everyone would leave her alone so she could live her life," the 26-year-old hotel heiress-actress tells E! News. "She's a great mother and a great girl and I really care about her."

Has everyone forgotten Paris' rant last weekend at the club LAX?

What a great example she'll be someday, huh?

I realize I sound like (gulp) Rosie O'Donnell, and believe me that is not something I'm proud of, but how are Paris's opinions of pareting newsworthy? Is someone really going to read her quote and think to themselves, "Gee, if Paris thinks Britney is a good Mom, she must be terrific!?"

Not to mention, if the paps left Britney alone she wouldn't know what to do with herself. She's totally addicted to the attention. She's become uber-famous for being a crazy loon, not because she has some very minor talent.

Maybe Paris is feeling a PR hit from her "I want to f_ _ k everybody" rant and is trying to gleen some positive publicity from her BFF?!?!

Blech!