Today is a very special day. It's also a day I wish would END, but it just keeps draggin on and on....almost taunting my psyche. Why can't midnight just get here already?
Maybe you remember reading THIS POST about one of the most horrendous, yet beautiful days of my life? Well, today would have been Nanny's 91st birthday.
I spent yesterday afternoon with her younger sister, Ann who is in the throws of Alzheimer's. She saw a picture of sweet Nanny in my study and got teary-eyed. It felt like a dagger through my heart to see her get upset.
Then, when I woke up this morning it was like I automatically had this lump in my throat. It took me a few seconds to realize why it was there.....and then I remembered. Nanny's birthday.
I'm working a temp job, so I'm trying to do my best to be the diligent little worker bee at the office, but when I was getting my coffee this morning that lump in my throat was still there.
Looking out the window from my office, I watched the rain falling....trying so hard not to get emotional. Then, I just couldn't do it anymore, but I couldn't cry at a new job. So, I did what I've learned to do so well over the years....I swallowed it.
I got home this afternoon and updated my facebook status to reflect my sadness. Julie responded with a few simple words, "Happy Birthday, Gorgeous!" Then, my tears fell. I saw my nickname for her in writing (Gorgeous) and I just couldn't help it, but needed it at the same time.
I miss you so much, Nanny. I know you're where you want to be....dancing on a cloud with PawPaw, but Lady, I can not express how deeply I've felt your absence in my life. You were the most positive, inspirational, God-fearing woman I have ever met.
My tears fall because I miss you, and I'm so thankful and grateful that you were a part of my life.
Thank you, Nanny and Happy Birthday!!
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1 comment:
Beautifully written, deeply felt. Love you, Jen.
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