I didn't think it would be this difficult...

Today is a very special day. It's also a day I wish would END, but it just keeps draggin on and on....almost taunting my psyche. Why can't midnight just get here already?

Maybe you remember reading THIS POST about one of the most horrendous, yet beautiful days of my life? Well, today would have been Nanny's 91st birthday.

I spent yesterday afternoon with her younger sister, Ann who is in the throws of Alzheimer's. She saw a picture of sweet Nanny in my study and got teary-eyed. It felt like a dagger through my heart to see her get upset.

Then, when I woke up this morning it was like I automatically had this lump in my throat. It took me a few seconds to realize why it was there.....and then I remembered. Nanny's birthday.

I'm working a temp job, so I'm trying to do my best to be the diligent little worker bee at the office, but when I was getting my coffee this morning that lump in my throat was still there.

Looking out the window from my office, I watched the rain falling....trying so hard not to get emotional. Then, I just couldn't do it anymore, but I couldn't cry at a new job. So, I did what I've learned to do so well over the years....I swallowed it.

I got home this afternoon and updated my facebook status to reflect my sadness. Julie responded with a few simple words, "Happy Birthday, Gorgeous!" Then, my tears fell. I saw my nickname for her in writing (Gorgeous) and I just couldn't help it, but needed it at the same time.

I miss you so much, Nanny. I know you're where you want to be....dancing on a cloud with PawPaw, but Lady, I can not express how deeply I've felt your absence in my life. You were the most positive, inspirational, God-fearing woman I have ever met.

My tears fall because I miss you, and I'm so thankful and grateful that you were a part of my life.

Thank you, Nanny and Happy Birthday!!

ONE

I didn't vote for Obama. Admitting that on a day like today (or tomorrow) is not safe nor is it easy. I am a fiscal conservative and prioritize my politics from economics, which is why I didn't vote for Obama. However, I am an American, and will support my President whether I voted for him or not.

But today, I am inspired and full of hope for our country, our future, our children.

I explained to my six-year-old son the importance of celebrating Martin Luther King's birthday (and it wasn't to get a day off of school) and how tomorrow's inauguration is one of the most significant moments in our nation's history. Speaking to him with child-like words, and answering his questions as simply as possible was so inspiring to me. I saw hope in his little blue eyes and it was beautiful!


After our moment, we tuned in to Oprah's pre-inaugural show. I was so inspired watching a performance of the new song, "America's Song" written by will.i.am & David Foster and sung by will.i.am, Faith Hill, Seal, Mary J. Blige & Bono.


Here is some video of will.i.am and Bono collaborating on the song.

The entire project came together in a week. I was in tears watching it on today's Oprah show. If you visit http://www.oprah.com/ you can download the song for free for the next 24 hours. I highly recommend it!

Panic at the Disco (OK, it's not really a disco, but I'm still in a panic)

Oh Mah Gaw.....it is so freakin' difficult to find a job right now. Of course, it doesn't help that I live out in the suburbs.

The economy? Also not working in my favor! Soooo many companies in my neck of the woods are still imposing hiring freezes.

Reliable back-up childcare? Actually, I have UNreliable back-up childcare considering the kids Dad hasn't stuck to a weekly schedule since he insisted on having them 2x per week (after school) 6 months ago!

And, my mother is moving back to Tennessee.

Too! Much! Anxiety!