Meow!

I found this on Defamer....one of my favorite celebrity blog sites. If you were in Hollywood, would you make the list??

They'll stop at nothing

Men will do anything, as this article proves, to get out of doing housework! Unbelievable! And Italian men were always my favorite.....

It's 5:00 somewhere, says the little boy....

I think I'm becoming more cynical as I age. Of course, maybe I'm just PMS-ing and in a shitty mood. Yeah, that's probably it!

My kids got home today after being gone for a week with the in-laws. They had a great time playing on Galveston Beach, meeting new friends and living in an RV (which for my 6 year old son is about as cool as you can possibly get) but at dinner tonight my son looks at Hubby's drink and says, "Is that a beer?"

Hubby: (ever the honest one) "No, it's a Jack & Coke."

Son: "Oh, well 'cause Grandaddy said that at 5:00 it's beer time, so I figured since we were having dinner it was after 5 and you should be drinking a beer. What's Jack & Coke?"

Hubby: "Well, it's like a beer, but it's not."

WHAT????

First of all, my 6 year old thinks that 5:00pm is beer time (which is fine if you're my age, but at 6 it seems a little disturbing).

Secondly, why the hell does Hubby need to drink a Jack & Coke at dinner? He hasn't been around the kids in almost two weeks, as he was gone before they left for the beach and we have them back for a few hours and he's ordering hard liquor for dinner? They're not that bad....

Thirdly, my 6 year old knows the term, "Jack & Coke" now.

I wonder if his 529 College Savings Plan will work at The Betty Ford Center?

Oh yeah, Happy Father's Day......

Dad's Day

Unless you've been living under a rock, you know that Sunday is Father's Day. I guess we're supposed to honor the men (who's sperm got lucky enough to find it's way to the egg) who worked and sacrificed to raise us.

Blech!

Can you tell I'm not very close to my sperm donor? Asshole and I haven't spoken in a really, really long time. Not that I have any pent-up anger about it or anything.

One of the last phone conversations we had was when I called him to tell him my brother's wife was in labor and delivery and very close to having their first child. I was excited to be an Auntie, but especially excited because she went into labor on my birthday. My nephew and I were going to be birthday buds, but only if she hurried up and squeezed him out before midnight. So, I did what any girl who's been constantly ignored by her father, but found an excuse to call in hopes he'd have some kind of recollection of my wonderfulness does.....call Daddy.

STUPID.

I was telling him my theory on having a birthday bud and he says to me, "what are you talking about?"

Me: "Uh, Dad....today is my birthday, too."

Him: "Oh."

That's it....no Happy Birthday, dear, wonderful daughter 'o mine.

So, to honor the Asshole that is my father, I present his Dad's Day Card for the world to read:

Finally!

I'm going to keep my political opinions to myself, so as not to offend anyone who may be upset by this most recent development, but I will say....THANK GOD THE PRIMARIES ARE OVER!!! I never thought they were going to end!

What the...???

I've been in mourning and haven't felt too much like writing anything quippy lately.....until I found this little ditty on FoxNews.com. Now, I realize I'm lowering the bar considerably, but isn't that what's so fun about having a blog in the first place?

The story reminded me a lot of the woman who got stuck to the toilet story from a few months back. Remember her?

The article never went into detail about HOW this man got 16 washers stuck on his "nether region," but I sure would like to hear your ideas on how this idiot could have secured them to his "down there." I'm guessing this guy subscribes to the "size doesn't really matter" theory??

OK, friends.....let's hear your thoughts in the comment section!!!